[Verse: Byron]
Tell me what I'm doing here, cause I'm without a clue
My only wish at fifteen was never having to live without a few people
If I never blow up with these words, I can die happily knowing I've still got you
Couldn't fathom being so highly renowned for these verses
The day I change, you'll see Brinks trucks following hearses
I put my pain on a record; some people talk more than listen
I'm not ashamed I've been stressing, I gave my heart to these women
About a decade and a half, I found a spark to replenish my every thought of unhappiness
Me, I fought to diminish ideologies from my past that would force a religion upon me
Alarming that blood built the country we live in
I met Hali at the age of eleven or twelve
Trying to figure out if I was living in Heaven or well Hades
Together we fell
First year of seventh, I failed
Never recognizing life would cause my depression to swell
Five years later, I pick my head up and run into Vale
Become acquaintances, nearly falling in love with this girl
One of the greatest years of my life till I see you're becoming distant
I'm sinking into a slump; society had me dipping in and out of consciousness
How ironic I went to King
This hood is my freaking crown, and I don it by any means
Here's a question for both of you
With the blink of an eye, how the frick did our friendships die? (You didn't try)
I lie in disguise, on the run from defeat
Homicide on my mind, growing hard for me to sleep
My defenses up, part of my mission wasn't burning bridges
So is it just y'all said F it, and ventured off in tradition?
Or what, did my regression have effects that you never mentioned?
As disappointed as I am, I'll never say I don't miss them
Say if they want me clapped, then it's whatever
But when I say that I'll never come back, well that's a luxury, isn't it?
I know life can become as ugly as possible
How did you go from loving me to nothing but an obstacle?
Did you love me or nah?
It's like I'm in a mental hospital, wondering what am I to do
If you did, then what's stopping you?
I know people change and this ain't for the faint of heart
Because life is a heavy burden
Were you just playing your part?
I know d**h is certainly imminent
So tell me, was it genuine or a waste of my effort in banking on us continuing?
Afraid to tell the truth about everything you were feeling?
Was meditation the proof that no medication was healing this devastating pursuit?
When I look at who had my back every day, sad to say it was neither one of you
But that doesn't take away what you did for me
Amazing times we had
I was honored to be your friend, maybe the timing was bad
But I need to express a different emotion I rarely showcase
Rewind time, September 29th in ‘08
My life changed permanently, and that's for the better
I never imagined thinking of children
That was a pleasure I never thought I'd enjoy until I met you, Marina
To top it off, Aaliyah lit a freaking fire beneath us
Isabella, Sophia Devonne, I know you hear me
Your mom and I hope you never conform
You're both pretty, although at this point, you're both unborn
People coming up are lost, and it's dangerous for us
It's so gritty how nothing ever lasts forever
I went from never having kids to talking to you on a track
So whether I put it all in a song
Someone will think that I'm wrong, and want me in a place that I don't belong
You tell them stand down
I've been thinking intensely about my life
Common sense is we live to die, so let's try to do something right
But if I'm to be noticed less, this dream isn't worth the stress
And I'll probably end up at Ochsner Hospital till my d**h
No, you see I worked my whole life to get to this point
Obviously, I made mistakes but I learn from that as I'm going
If push ever comes to shove, and society tears me down
I'll be content with my two best friends forever knowing
I'd give my life for Aaliyah, but never showed it
Marina taught me to enjoy the little things
And so, as far as both of my daughters, I wish I could see your mother
But the saddest part is you'll probably never meet either of us
17 years I've been alive
Back when I was twelve, I used to feel as if I was dying
Never spoke to my parents at all about how I felt
Never thought they would understand, and decided they couldn't help
That's not a knock to them, I just thrive when I'm by myself
I survived and learned on my own that I'm Byron, nobody else
And I promise that when it's all said and done
No matter if it's suicide, homicide, whatever that I'm the one
I'm happy with how my life turned out, and I'd rather die that way
With the people by my side that played a significant role
So when push comes to shove
No matter what, in my heart, I want you to know, I've still got love for you…