Once upon a time, in a little kingdom by the Pacific Ocean, the villagers could always be heard singing merrily as they slathered on suntan lotion.
Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea,
We nobles agree just how lucky we are,
Plenty of plenty for you and for me,
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar
Nary a sin on our lily white skin, just a tan and this one tiny scar,
Prince, princess and queens, kings, gods and czars, and only one bum in Corona Del Mar. (only one bum in Corona Del Mar)
The deli gives him free sandwiches; he stops there 'bout three times a week,
Then he'll shimmy behind dolphin-shaped hedges where he likes to take a leak,
Sometimes we'll hand him coffee, money or religious tracts, or, at a distance, speak a kind word,
And he'll grin, and then behind our backs he'll discreetly flip us the bird.
Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea,
We nobles agree just how lucky we are,
Plenty of plenty for you and for me,
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar.
Nary a stain on our regal robe's train, 'cept him and that thing in his jar,
Down at the park, our land-loving shark,
There's only one bum in Corona Del Mar. (only one bum in Corona Del Mar)
Down at one local park bench, under a blanket called "Home" the rain falling hard now, but I a**ure you he's never alone,
He's always got an invisible buddy there; they speak to each other in tongues,
Once I think I heard them muttering, calling all of us "stinking C.D.M. bums."
Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea,
We nobles agree just how lucky we are,
Plenty of plenty for you and for me,
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar.
Nary a flaw in our high castle wall, just one crack that's lowered the bar, one fly in our caviar,
Is that Stacy Keech pa**ed out on the beach?
No, it's only our bum from Corona del Mar. (only one bum in Corona Del Mar)
The cops don't like to arrest him, when they have, he would purposely mess his drawers,
And as the winds of change carry the scent of tolerance, that's an odor we just can't ignore,
Now our kids give him little gifts at Christmas, like wrapped lottery tickets in hopes that eventually he'll hit the jackpot and buy houses, and escalades and boats.
Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea,
We nobles agree just how lucky we are,
Plenty of plenty for you and for me,
And there's only one bum in Corona Del Mar,
We're using Ben Franklins to light our cigars,
'Cause we might not like it, but at least he's ours,
Only one bum.
Now, all this happened years ago,
Sadly, today, our hero's not around,
Some say he's been seen in Fresno, others say they heard he drowned,
Still others swear he got baptized, spreading the word both near and far,
And some of us think he may be the richest man who ever lived in Corona Del Mar.
Corona Del Mar, crown of the sea,
We nobles agree just how lucky we are,
Plenty o' plenty for you and for me,
And we sure miss that bum in Corona Del Mar.
Sure miss that bum in Corona Del Mar,
Sure miss that bum in Corona Del Mar. (and we all lived happily ever after)