[Emilio Rojas]
Now I been losing sleep to my anxiety
This world is full of fiends
I'm losing friends to my sobriety
No one's what they seem
My girl just spent the whole night crying for me
She swear to god I cheat so every time I step outside the crib
She beg me not to leave, I know relationships need trust
And we don't got enough, y'all finding friends
I'm finding alibis inside the club, nowadays I'm talking less
Every conversation leads to arguments
And I don't care who right or wrong, I just want it all to end
I started texting other broads again
‘Cause you just been accusing me non-stop
I might as well do what you thought I did
And I been harboring resentment so it's hard to a keep a friendship
When your heart just isn't in it girl
It's hard to keep pretending, all my dogs is telling me
That I should leave like yo, you bad for my career
You say you not, I believe you, ain't no spark
And we ain't f**ing, we can't come to an agreement
I'm addicted to the drama, I don't love it but I need it
We been screaming at each other, other day, I almost hit you
sh**, I never thought of touching a woman till I was with you
And that scares me, now I don't like that side of me
If you don't understand why I been driven
How the f** you plan to ride for me?
It been bubbling inside of me, I've been dealing with quietly
Are you struggling with trust ‘cause I don't struggle with monogamy
Truth is, it don't really make a difference
‘Cause it don't matter if I'm honest if you still are asking questions
We been stressing over money, we been beefing over bills
And keeping track of who been spending what
That petty sh**'ll k** ya, I don't care ‘bout other b**hes though
I'm grown, I've had my fill, I'm tryna lay this foundation
That the both of us can build from, we supposed to have some children
And adopt your nephew and get a condo in the lower
With an Audi and a dog we rescued
Sometimes I wish that it could all be simple
But ain't no way that's gon happen
When you think about the sh** we been through
Your father hit you, sh**, you hinted at him touching you
It's probably why you love to call me daddy when I'm f**ing you
You validate yourself through s**uality and love from dudes
And girl, it's been a while for us so tell me who you running to
You staying late at work and sleeping out
Got me feeling like a guest in my own house
sh**, I been sleeping on the couch
Coming home in clothes I know you can't afford
And it's crazy, who been buying them for you
‘Cause girl, I know it ain't me
Who been taking you for dinner? You don't eat at home
Already know the answers to these f**ing questions
I should leave ‘em ‘lone, sh**, I don't even know you lately
You a stranger and the closer that I get to my success
The more you change up, you claim you want me winning
But with every little victory gon' come another argument
You b**h and talking sh** to me
You begging me to keep you company in all your misery
You telling me you'd die for me but you refuse to live with me
See women in my industry and call ‘em like I'm f**ing ‘em
But I'm just working with these girls
You think I fall in love with ‘em
And after that sh** happen, when I see ‘em, I be ducking ‘em
‘Cause I don't want the drama to catch up with us
I know I should be done with us
But something keep me here and keep you with me
Conversations give you more ammunition to use against me
Try to see you, you won't let me and you text me like you miss me
How the f** your full lips feel empty when you kiss me?
Wish it was different, yeah, but girl, it isn't
And now the one I can't live without is not the one I live with
I been out with different women every night just to forget it
But it don't feel the same, now something missing
Something feeling out of place, ain't no reaching you
What the f** you wanting me to do? You're dead to me
Now I ain't getting over you, I'm grieving you
You made an enemy of someone who believed in you
But something ‘bout us make me wanna be with you, damn