The clerk smiled as she saw the same nut pick up a personal size grocery basket and head down aisle two She smiled because periodically this guy would return with a basket full of glade lock and hold room freshener and deodorizer It's a deodorizer that works on the same principle as a bug bomb Simply push down on the bu*ton and it fills the room with a scented fog The man would buy only about five or six cans at a time He'd been coming in for about five weeks now Sometimes he would come in twice a week He seemed like a normal guy He was kind of balding in his mid thirties wearing a black leather jacket And he was always so damn dusty something soft about his features It looked like it was makeup but it was just dust He paid with a twenty and said thank you and left When the man returned home he took the glade from the worthless little plastic sack
He placed one on the rug, one on the end table, one on the window sill, one under the tv, and one on the air conditioner This might seem unusual except for the fact that his entire apartment was just filled with them Every room on every surface He figured he had about sixty of them in all--each one's nozzle poised at the ready He sighed and opened a beer He started to push down the lock and hold bu*tons on the canisters Slowly filling the room, working his way from the dining room into the den Each room filling with a multi-scented fog Desert bloom, evergreen, misty rose, fresh lemon, regular and unscented, pot pourri, wild oak, petunia, ocean mist, Musk, hazel wood, Irish nights, sandalwood, rain forest, country kitchen, natural prevention?, orange blossom, Indian summer, and holiday candle Calmly he sat on the couch, spilt his beer, and closed his eyes