[Intro: Jean Grae]
Yeah. This the one they told me not to put out. But you got to give the people what they want. So brothers, sisters, I've been holding this one back. This one for y'all. Let's go
[Verse 1: Jean Grae]
I'm feeling numb, thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth
I'm playing this game, holding my mic like a pistol, aiming at d**h
And I love nobody. Alone in this world—that's how I came in it
But sh** could flash and reverse the same in a minute
I don't even love life no more—my n***as, I just live it
And I don't love love. All the hurting is infinite
I cry myself to sleep sometimes, wept a gallon of tears
From malice, divorced mates to lost peers
Drowned it in a haze of smoke and gla**es that never ran empty
Bottles of So-Co, cheap vodka and 20/20
Spending my pennies for thoughts on quarts of Henny
Fame? Got none. Pain? Like the movie, have plenty
Like a shotgun, double-barrel fully loaded, ready to blow
I want to turn around and aim at myself
Been failing my health. I hardly even eat no more
My lunch is munchies from the corner store, tropical fantasy
Me and my family, me and my n***as used to be tight
But now we see each other on the block with no pounds
And keep it moving. Gotta move on
I know I'm doing it right. I'm still living, hustling life
Still, sh**
Hook: Jean Grae]
For all my n***as, smoke a pack a day
For all my n***as, hold a bottle, drink the pain away
What type of life is this?
For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave
Let's keep living
For all my n***as, drink the pain away
For all my n***as, smoke a pack of Newports a day
What type of life is this?
For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave
Let's keep living. Let's keep living
[Verse 2: Jean Grae]
Grew up a child of an alcoholic, sister to schizophrenic
And already inherited one and they both are genetic
When sun falls, I gets no sleep. Nights is filled
With party and bullsh**, Bacardi and full clips
Just to deal with it. Got a full heart, but I don't feel
With it no more. I have fury of woman who scorned
Just live my life like the X-Files and trust nobody
Forgetting everyone. Now I'm just for getting the money
Funny how sh** can change and switch up, fragile to rip on you
Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch sh** up
Uh. I'm living day-by-day now. Every step is play-by-play
Hand to mouth. I'm just trying to make the moments count
Eyes read, stressing my soul. Chest grows
From heavy smoking addict since nine. A nicotine addict
Devoted at it but, still, I need some type of release
I quit the trees at least
Yo, I'm learning, n***as, but I'm slow at it
Always gave my motherf**ers the benefit of the doubt
But it seems that everybody's just out for self
I used to love her. Now I gotta make her work for my wealth
I gotta eat, y'all
[Hook: Jean Grae]
For all my n***as, smoke a pack a day
For all my n***as, hold a bottle, drink the pain away
What type of life is this?
For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave
Let's keep living
For all my n***as, drink the pain away
For all my n***as, smoke a pack of Newports a day
What type of life is this?
For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave
Let's keep living. Let's keep living
[Verse 3: Jean Grae]
It's from rapping to nicotine, n***as clapping and n***as'll fiend
From some sh** I haven't seen to everything I've been through
It's like losing the love of your life twice in the same night
Being deaf for years, gained your hearing and losing your sight
Trying to shine but I'm just getting eclipsed
I'm just trying to find the perfect words to fall from my lips
Thinking too hard about what sh** has fallen—mainly the chips
Hoping the next time it's storming, that I'm not attempting to slit wrists
Got nothing now. I'll work my way up from the bottom
To the top of the ladder, claim what's rightfully mine
I'm working against time. It's been too long
And I haven't even had a chance to leave y'all yet. I apologize
Getting older, wiser, seen the picture painted
My destiny fated for this and not for easy times
I put my heart in these rhymes for always
Love it or leave it or ready to die
Yeah, I'm ready. Come on