(Verse 1 - Dirty Dike)
You're talking out your arse, I'm talking out my mouth
You're squarking out your bars while I'm walking out the house
And I don't make the rules, I just play the game
And I won't bring my balls for no shameless bit of fame
You're sniffing up your ket, I'm sniffing up my coke
But I ain't gonna magnify the difference in a bloke
You're living off the dole, I'm living off my soul
And I don't wanna b**h about the system when I'm old
I'm gonna buy some land, you're gonna buy some d**
You're gonna find a slag while I'm gonna find some love
You're smoking on a dick, I'm smoking on a spliff
You're showing off your kids and I'm a chauvinistic pig
You're ringing up your mum, I'm drinking with your dad
He's pissing in the street while he's fingering a slag
You're living in a dream, I dribble in my sleep
You're looking in the mirror while I'm spitting to this beat
You're going to the fair, I'm going to the shops
You ain't gonna hear my f**ing album 'til it drops
You're pissing in a bog, I'm pissing in a bush
You listen to the trickle, it's a mission to the woods
You're combing your hair, but nobody cares
I'm a scruffy f**er but my omen is rare
You're over-prepared, I'm casually lax
I'm sat in the back of a taxi relaxed
And I don't wanna prang, I just wanna chill
When you just wanna hang around with slappers eating pills
I just wanna f**, you just wanna wa*k
Ladies and gents give a very big thanks and a round of applause
Man, you're a nause
I don't wanna hang around with mans any more
You're trying to be my friend, I'm trying to be a dick
You're trying to make it stick while I'm trying to get rid
(Verse 2 - Jam Baxter)
I'm straddling a pig, you're a maggot in a wig
You've gone and bought your whole smackwagon to the gig, why's it matter who I'm with?
You're chatting to a twig
You try and spit a verse and end up fracturing your ribs
And I don't wanna judge, you're on a lot of d**
And yeah I know there's one thousand ways to hold a grudge
But me I'm trying to speak, you're just trying to preach
My ears about to stab itself and drink a pint of bleach
You're talking to a child, I'm talking to a dwarf
With 5 drops of acid in a nice warm sauce
But you're doing what you can, I'm doing what you can't
You're stuck being who you are, my whole crew's who you aren't
Backflipping to the past I'd return with a gun
You'd return with a badly drawn picture of your mum
You're staring at my crotch, I'm try'na have a cotch
Spent the last 5 hours staring at my watch
Man I just wanna leave, you just wanna grieve
I'm long past hearing about the sh** that you believe
See I turn up to The Shoobs, you turn up in a bush
Last seen s**ling the virgin in the woods
Man I just wanna lounge, you just wanna scrounge
I got a pair of creepy little eyes I can gouge
And I'll hand 'em to you, have a chat with your crew
I bowl around free, you're entangled in glue
Gluey hands of a nonce, you're banned from the swamps
I'm try'na cook an egg, you're a cancerous ponce
I'm living on the edge, you're living in a hedge
I'm try'na make an album, you're try'na make a wedge
I'm calling you a chief, you're calling the police
I'm trawling in the street and you're absorbed in the mystique
I'm working for myself, you work for someone else
You watch the world turn while I watch the world melt
Shut up!