Well, mic check, mic check
Whoever he is - he's great, he's great
Alright, you ready to rock and roll?
[Female Voice]
Hi, I'm Jake Lefco
And - last time I went to the dentist
I had 17 cavities
It all began with..
[Jake Lefco]
When I was born, I didn't know what was goin on
First cry, first yawn, first view of my mom
When I was 1 I moved into the crib, that was big
My own diapers, my own bib, and no rent (what?)
Turned 2, learned who really wanted me there
My big brother was 5, stickin gum in my hair (die freak!)
When I was 3 I had a big gut and a big bu*t
Waddled around the house like I'm big stuff, like yeah what?
At 4 I guess I saw my belly bigger than it was
Grubbin on ps'sketti, threw it up into the tub
5 I went to daycare, didn't want to stay there
But mom dragged me, kickin and screamin like a caveman
6 I got sick, chicken pox and sh**
Temperature 106, I coulda died from it
Lucky 7 got a swingset, it pays to beg
I'm like "Look dad, no hands!" Broke my leg (AHH!)
[Chorus]
I wonder how my wonder years made me who I am today
Wonder how they set the stage, feels like it was yesterday
Back when I was unaware, Superman underwear
Just a little peak what I remember for my wonder years
[Jake Lefco]
When I was 8 years old I got a hold on things
At recess I jumped the furthest off the playground swing
When I was 9 I used to creep, sneakin Flintstone vitamins
I liked 'em, I almost overdosed, it was frightenin
At age 10 I pissed my pants in the lunchline
Check the first verse of "Life Goes On" for the punchline
At age 11 had a k**er collection
Thundercats, Transformers, G.I. Joes and weapons
(I'll trade you Sergeant Slaughter!)
When I was 12 I ran ball in the Friday night league
Tried to show off so little girls would like me (hi, heeheehee)
At 13 a little punk causin problems
Thought I was the sh**, quotin "Straight Outta Compton"
(Gangsta, gangsta!) When I was 14 I grew hair on my johnson
Suddenly my mission for the booty was constant~!
[Chorus]
[Jake Lefco]
When I was 15 I got a 40 of Olde E
Got my first taste of ash rollin a stogie
When I was 16 I got a job at a golf course
Drove around a golf cart, that was the hard part
At 17 I got a piece of the action
It lasted, close to 2 minutes of pa**ion (that's it?)
When I was 18 I graduated from school
Got accepted into college, packed my things and moved
At 19 a homesick, fresh fish on campus
Entered art school to put my grief on canvas
20 years old, took a plane to Spain
{?} went from train to train
When I was 21 recordin rhymes shifted my attention
Thank the Lord for "The Crop Report" and 40th Dimension
[Chorus] - repeat 2X
[Outro]
Yooo, Jake Lefco here dude
Yo, it's totally far out that you muh'f**ers bought my sh**!
You know I really appreciate it dude
Honestly, the last three albums I sold
I'm smokin the bread right now
So dude, far out man!!
Is this still on?
f** dude, I'm f**in baked!