{*sounds of snoring and an alarm clock going off for 25 seconds*}
Ohhhhh fu*k!!!
[Jake Lefco]
I woke up panicked, blind and frantic
God damnit, must have hit the snooze again
I must have overdone the booze again
f** this sh**, that's the kind of mood I'm in
Jake-o, motivate, wake up, put your clothes on
Do it quick 'fore you doze off
The pillow is so soft, and the blanket's so warm
Hold on - one second
One minute more, then I'll be finished
F'real, just give me ten minutes (motherf**er)
Mmm-hmm, that's nice
Eyes are blinkin, body is sinkin
Deeper in the mattress and not even thinkin
Face in the pillowcase, Rip Van Winkin
{*snoring and alarm clock*}
[Jake Lefco]
fu*k!! Can't be late for wake
fu*k I already am, it's already 10
Rolled over so fast hit the floor with my chin
Wrapped in the quilt like a pork dumpling
If I'm late again they won't try to rub it in
Boss told me next time don't bother comin in
But I gotta, so I got up on my feet
Kicked off the sheets, threw on the tee, my black slacks
Dress slacks and bu*tondown, buggin now
Huffin and puffin now, runnin down stairs
Sweatin out Bud Light, smellin like beer
Hairline matted down, lookin like Cher's
I don't even care, gotta get there
Unshaven unsure, lookin out the front door
I'm gone, ran out with dumb force
Tripped on the stairs and off the front porch
Now I'm out for the count on the lawn like I sunbathed
Broke down like a Hyundai
When I came to, took more than one take
Saw the newspaper came, it was Sunday
Oh sh**! It was Sunday!
Thank God it was Sunday!
Ahhh, I'm goin back to sleep
{*snoring*}
[Outro]
Hi, I'm Jake Lefco
And uhh, when I'm not here working hard on these rap records
Uhh, during the day I'm selling nipple caps
Uhh, to horses and other animals to cap their nipples
Uhh, yeah, mm-hmm, great