I ever tell you 'bout the time I had to solve this case
Some crab motherf**ers straight invading my space
It was approximately 8:47 pm
I was on my way home coming back from the gym
My muscles kind of aching
They felt rigid and stiff
But my mind was at ease from this Coltrane riff
Playing loud at a shop right on Fulton and Throop
Till a Jeep drowned it out with Xzibit and Snoop
As I get closer to the heezy, baby
Certain parts of my body started acting crazy
My ears got to twitching, and my right hand shook
I had a sudden need for speed, so I decided to book
As I arrived on my block to see a bunch of kids
Scoping out my building
Noticing the door wide open
I jetted up the stairs, past signs of forced entry
Expecting to see my humble abode stripped empty
Yo, hell no!
Yo, my trip from the front door
To the second floor
Had me feeling so alone, embarra**ed, and insecure
My worldly possessions that I cherished and prized
Flashed in a matter of seconds before my eyes
But not photographic, more like alpha-numeric
You know, VCR, TV, Laptop, Z3
VS, MP, LP, CDs
RL, P&B, N-I-K-E
Not to mention USA or RC3C
To open up in DC
For Run-DMC
It's gotta be a nightmare
Somebody pinch me!
But up the stairs I see
My 10-speed GT
Right where I left it, rather bizarre
Still felt violated; my apartment door was ajar
As I stormed in thinking it's about to be on
The window was wide open... but nothing was gone!
As I dashed to the edge
Held my head past the ledge
I seen two hooded figures flipping over a fence
They was way beyond capture, so I took a step back
So I could figure this sh** out cause it was getting' intense
The computer was on, file cabinets wide open
Bookshelves was tipped over; they searched, but ain't steal
Wait a minute! This picture from my built-in safe
Was slightly tilted to the side, I was beginning to feel
The same tingling in my ears and hands
Everything else in the house was there, so work with me one time
But my instincts failed me not, the safe was blown wide-open
They stolen my priceless book of rhymes!
Oh, hell no!
Ah, sh**! I been hit! Elizabeth, this is the big one
f** it, these n******gs got me pulling out my big guns
So be it! They want it, they got it, but can't have it
Dagnabit! The last thing I needed was static!
But I got a briefcase for just such an occasion
So I grabbed it
Jetted downstairs
Hailed a cab
I knew the sh** was gonna happen
I was getting too nice
From the briefcase I pulled out a homing device
Three times better than Lo-Jack
These MCs is so wack
And now they gotta resort
To stealing my text?!
As I fixed on their position
For my intercept mission
The cabbie was feather-footed, it was getting me vexed
As we headed towards Jersey, the signal got stronger
Even in the tunnel I was right on they tail
A green Volkswagon had the nerve to blast Braggin' [???]
A dead giveaway, now watch justice prevail
I told the cabbie, Get closer, but he had no heart
Next thing I know we was, like, five blocks apart
But they was headed for the airport, the getaway plane
Traffic was getting thick, so I got out and ran
Followed the signal all the way to this private hangar
These n******gs want to rendezvous with a Learjet
I drove a luggage cart to block the runway, to no avail
They pulled out just in time but I'm not done yet
Yo, watch this!
You think you're getting away, thieves? I know every rhyme in that
Book. You got five seconds to turn around. It's like that? Aight then!
If I can't have it, no one can! (Explosion)