On, straight, to Beneventum: where our busy host
Nearly burned the inn turning lean thrushes over the fire:
As Vulcan's fumes dispersed through the ancient kitchen,
Darting flames licked right up to the roof overhead.
You saw scared servants and famished guests snatch food
And everyone tried to extinguish the roaring blaze.
From that point on Apulia begins to reveal
Her familiar hills to me, scorched by scirocco,
And we'd never have crossed if a villa near Trivicum
Hadn't received us, tearful with smoke from the stove
That was burning up green wood, foliage and all.
Here like an utter fool I lay wakeful till midnight
Awaiting a cheating girl: till sleep carried me off
Thinking of s**: then a dream full of sordid visions
Wet my nightshirt and belly, lying there on my back.
From here we're rushed on in a cart twenty-four miles,
To spend the night in a little town I can't fit in the verse,
Though here's a clue: they sell what's commonly free
There, water: but the bread's the best by far, so wise
Travellers carry a load on their shoulders for later,
‘cos it's gritty at Can*sium (and your jug's no more
Water in) a place brave Diomed founded long ago.
Here Varius peels off, to the grief of his weeping friends.
So to Rubi exhausted we come, after we've travelled
A long stretch of roadway damaged by heavy rain,
Next day the weather was better, the road was worse,
Right up to fishy Bari. Then Gnatia, on whose building
The water-nymphs frowned, brought us laughter and mirth,
As it tried to persuade us that incense melts without fire
On its temple steps. Let Apella the Jew credit that,
I don't: I've heard the gods live a carefree life,
And if nature works miracles then it isn't the gods
Gloomily sending them down from their home in the sky.
Brindisi's the end of a long road and this story.