It's February 9th
Crazy I'm 21 tonight
Think I'm Still to young to be Looking back on Life
If there's time to reminisce tonight the right night
So thank you to Tim because this beat is really tight
Don't get me wrong I'm going to have fun
I've got so much vodka, going to be sloppy drunk
Got enough that everyone can have some
Before that happens I'm thinking about stuff
I thinking bout my mum
Because I miss her
Yea I miss her
And I'm missing my sister
Because recently she seems to be wanting going with her
Likes she's frustrated with me cause I'm dealing with it better
Maybe she just wants us to deal with it together
It's just over complicated by brains like whatever
But there's no right way to deal with grief
Does she not see I need to look after me
Things growing inside of me like a cancerous Disease
All under lock and key so I don't worry my family
But I can let it free in this note that I've wrote
Damned them if I do, damn myself if I don't
But I'd rather hold the load I know others that won't
Though I've got this sinking feeling I'm just trying to stay a float
But I can unload on my phone, When I'm in my room alone
Write another song so that I can get along
Because with each line, my mind starts to unwind
Deal with it myself, to keep my mental health
So maybe she doesn't have this form of expression
Which I learn early from all my art lessons
There can't be much freedom for her, writing another essay
But I don't know, I'm just speculating
So my father tries to help but he just can't connect
And I think my sister mistakes this for neglect
Then a few years go by filled with regret
Yet they're both so stubborn they won't let themselves forget
Yet they've both got selective memory
So remember the same things differently
Yet I wasn't they're so I cannot see
Who telling the truth and who's exaggerating
But I don't know anyone who always get on with their family
As long as they're there at the end of everything
So even if these words to helping
I thought they might be worth mentioning
Yea
Thank you for today though
And don't think I'm not greatfull for all the presents
Just its one thing that's been on my mind recently
Sorry if it's not my place to say
But I think I'm in a position better than most too be able to
Thank you Tim for the beat
And helping me start my journey into this art form
You're my homie dawg haha
And thank you everyone for the birthday messages
They're really appreciated
I hope you know that
I just had to get some thoughts i had to get off my mind