[Intro]
> Roy: Why don't you get on that?
> Jim: She's not really my type
> Kevin: Well, what is your type?
> Jim: Moms, primarily. Yep. Soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms…any type of mom, really
> Roy: That's disgusting
> Kevin: Stay away from my mom
[Verse 1: Heath McNease]
Ginko and roses
She old as Moses
And notice most of my yoga poses
Most women like it, chauvinists fight it
[?] the Stone Temple Pilot
[?] dog down cowabunga
Got her wondering, "If only I were younger"
[?] the stone-cold stunner
Warrior pose to summon the Boy Wonder
I'm like, "Na-na-namaste"
She like, "Ca-ca-can I stay?"
I'm like, "Breathe from your core"
She like, "Teach me some more"
Yeah, sk**s and frolics
Feels so real [?]
[?] never feel demolished
[?] sk**s are polished
'bout to give a back-room lesson
Sun salute to that half-moon crescent
Wax and wane 'til that tattoo stretches
Hoover in the room, but no vacuum present
[Hook]
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
[Verse 2: Playdough]
She said that her neck hurt
And she wanted me to stretch her
Said she want a real tight body
A real high hottie, you should try pilates
By the way, did I say nice meeting you?
I'm your instructor, lemme take a peek at you
Turn around girl (there it is) peek a boo
You need to live in them balls -- Pikachu
Clinch your bu*t and since your stomach in
You still got it girlfriend, if you wondering
Turn the heat up high, let the fun begin
Work it and s** it in, circle circumference
She said she had a ton of kids
Problem area? where the stomach is
Underneath her fat roll where the muscle is
Lookin' up, asking God where the justice is
We gon' work it out [?] spine
Hear that crackle? Was that yours or mine?
Jack, Jill, Jonah Hill she was Superbad
You know the daggone deal
Cougar swag (Ah ah)
[Hook]
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
[Verse 3: Both]
[Heath McNease]
I'm just sippin' on the camomile
Can't figure how to hold the camera still
She got dance in frame, Joe Camel's grill
And breath like Fantana's Panther spilled
[Playdough]
Man, I called her my tigerlily daffodil
She got a lifetime supply morning after pill
Cause after all last night got way too dizzy
You're mom's so old (How old is she!)
[Heath McNease]
She 'bout ten plus forty
Calls me babe but she looks like Gordy
See what those fake implants and skin tans will enhance
Look at that [?] shorty
She enjoys a cold hard 40
OE cause she OG naughty
Super tan in the backyard party
It's somebody mommy tryna put something on me (haha)
[Hook]
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
[Verse 4: Both]
[Playdough]
She said her son need a newer dad
Her computer ad said "Cougar Swag"
[Heath McNease]
She tried to put me in a Lex Lugor wrap
Stronger than an ox, got cougar swag
[Playdough]
Had a Facebook photo, and you were tagged
Caption said "#cougarswag"
[Heath McNease]
Role play in a Storm Trooper hat
Disturbance in the force, got cougar swag
[Hook]
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
Cougar swag, cougar swag
Cougar swag, #cougarswag
[Outro]
> Kevin: Stay away from my mom
> Jim: Too late, Kev