There's a lot of ways to die
Under Ireland's sky
But the worst way by far might be a bit of a surprise
I'd rather be knifed in bar
Or hit by a car
Than to meet my end lookin' in to her eyes
And hear the cries
Of my demise
My last goodbyes!
Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world
And you better start running if you ever see her
She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel
I was at the county fair
And Scuzzy Kizoozle was there
She was slicing through the crowd like a mower mowing lawns
I watched the people fall
To her razor sharp claws
And then she was in my face before I knew what was goin' on!
I raised my arm
And tried to run
But I was stunned!
Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world
And you better start running if you ever see her
She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel
Her teeth sank into my arm and
Everything but pain was gone
And I looked down at
Her blood-stained fangs
She looked into my eyes
And the fear was paralyzin'
I felt the blood
Running from my veins
And oh the pain
And oh the pain
And oh the pain!
Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world
And you better start running if you ever see her
She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel
I'm only alive today
By God's grace
I'm the only man who's met with her
And lived to tell the tale
But I keep my eyes wide
She will never be denied
Until the day I die
She'll be there on my trail
O'er hill and dale
Through rain and hail
She will prevail!