Diagnosis, tits on a mule, worthless! Wooden nickels will purchase products Placed in a bunch of false advertisements They'll treat symptoms that you don't even have This is not a cure for the common cold It's just the best thing that they know your money will buy And I'm sold! I'm sold out and I don't have any plan to buy back in again I'm not kidding, it's a circle system Spinning spitting pennies
At the many medicinal maladies that we're faced with Bigger than life, bigger than life Now they'll put plenty into this and that And toss money at the fat cat Rolling out the fully loaded sled A hair lipped monument, circle what's wrong with it I just don't suggest getting sick in America Don't dance the waltz unless your talk is chalk white, toned and tempered Oh no, we invented the wheel