I take a look around
Think of places i have been
There really aren't too many
I would like to see again
I've been to 30
8 of 50 states
Most of them i'd shut down
3 or 4 of them are great
Back on the east coast
Dc's a little sh** hole
You'll freeze to d**h in jersey
But florida's the best
I think i would rather have
Prostate cancer
Than visit oklahoma
It's those sooner's i detest
When i see the coast
I'm at home at last
Take the lincoln monument
And cram it up your a**
Jesus-motherf**ing-christ, a giant ball of yarn!
Don't forget to see that thing
When you're on your way to yuma
Koa is a-ok
But they ain't got no shoney's
I love turquoise
And shells of abalone
Testicular tumors
Sound so much nicer
Than seeing dollywood
In the hills of tennessee
Sentence me to life
In a tijuana prison
I don't really care
Feed dorito's to the bears
Fireworks here and there
California is for me
M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-(fart!)-i!
Zillions of mosquitos are
Gnawing on my thigh
I really love antiquing
I bought some decoy ducks
In some states your sister
Is the only one you f**
The nascar who*es of north carolina
With ovarian cysts
The size of missouri
Do yourself and stay in california
Bye...bye...bye....goodbye!