Hello, I'm a member of a new organization called the Fart Retrieval League. Do you realize that among the millions of farts which are released every day, not all of them float free. A small, but significant percentage of farts is trapped in seat cushions all over America- hopelessly suspended in foam rubber. We ask you to please help rescue lost farts
Send your donation to the Fart Retrieval League. We will send you a booklet entitled, "The Facts on Farts". And say, next time you're in a hotel lobby, why not jump up and down on a seat cushion and free a fart
This Sunday, don't miss "Issues and a**holes", an in depth look at questions of public interest. This weekend, "Should There Be Gay Smoking Areas?" Then, relax as s** and sports get together on "Bowling For p**y". (bowling sounds)