A year ago, last Thursday I was strolling in the zoo
When I met a man who though he knew the lot
He was laying down the law about the habits of Baboons
And how many quills a porcupine has got
So I asked him: 'What's that creature there?'
He answered: 'Oh, H'it's a H'elk'
I might of gone on thinking that was true
If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame
And remarked: 'I h'ain't a H'elk. I'm a Gnu!'
'I'm a Gnu, I'm a Gnu
The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo
I'm a Gnu, How do you do
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho's
I'm a Gnu, Spelt G-N-U
I'm g-not a Camel or a Kangaroo
So let me introduce
I'm g-neither man nor moose
Oh g-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu'
I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea
Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne it was actually
And the second night I stayed there I was woken from a dream
That I'll tell you all about some other time
Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed
Stuffed and mounted, was a face I thought I knew;
A Bison? No, it's not a Bison. An Okapi? Unlikely, Really. A Hartebeest?
When I though I heard a voice: 'I'm a Gnu!'
I'm a Gnu, ,A g-nother gnu
I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you!
I'm a Gnu, How do you do
You really ought to k-now w-ho's w-ho
I'm a Gnu Spelt G-N-U
Call me Bison or Okapi and I'll sue
G-nor am I the least
Like that dreadful Hartebeest
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no
G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu
G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnu
It's very G-nice of you