I once had a whim and I had to obey it
To buy a French Horn in a second-hand shop;
I polished it up and I started to play it
In spite of the neighbours who begged me to stop
To sound my Horn, I had to develop my embouchure;
I found my Horn was a bit of a devil to play
So artfully wound
To give you a sound
A beautiful sound so rich and round
Oh, the hours I had to spend
Before I mastered it in the end
But that was yesterday and just today I looked in the usual place-
There was the case but the Horn itself was missing
Oh, where can it have gone?
Haven't you-hasn't anyone seen my Horn?
Oh, where can it have gone?
What a blow! Now I know
I'm unable to play my Allegro
Who swiped that Horn?
I'll bet you a quid
Somebody did
Knowing I'd found a concerto and wanted to play it
Afraid of my talent at playing the Horn
For early today to my utter dismay
It had vanished away like the dew in the mom
I've lost that Hom-I know I was using it yesterday
I've lost that Horn, lost that Horn, found that Horn ... gorn
There's not much hope of getting it back though I'd willingly pay a reward
I know some Hearty Folk whose party joke's
Pretending to hunt with the Quorn
Gone away! Gone away! Was it one of them took it away?
Will you kindly return that Horn? Where is the devil who pinched my Horn?
I shall tell the Police I want that French Horn back
I miss its music more and more and more
Without that Horn I'm feeling sad and so forlorn
I found a concerto, I wanted to play it
Displaying my talent at playing the Horn
But early today to my utter dismay it had totally vanished away
I practised the Horn, and I wanted to play it but somebody took it away
I practised the Horn and was longing to play it but somebody took it away
My neighbour's asleep in his bed
I'll soon make him wish he were dead
I'll take up the Tuba instead!