When the world is unforgiving
When a life's not worth the living
There's a lost sheep to be rescued
And a way must be found
Let us treat him like a brother
Let us love him like a mother
He can trust us, we're his good friends
And we'll never, ever let him down!
We must share our confession
Of his every transgression
Lest some slight indiscression
Should tarnish his crown
To procure his redemption
For his good and protection
You can tell me, I'm his good friend
And I'll never ever let him down!
To procure his redemption
For his good and protection!
We can tell you, you're his good friend
And you'll never ever let him down!
(Gossip!)
Gossip, gossip!
(Scandal!)
Scandal, scandal!
(Rumor!)
Rumor, rumor!
(Slander!)
Slander, slander!
(Libel!)
Libel, libel, tittle tattle!
Mustn't spread it around...
(Gossip!)
Chit chat!
(Scandal!)
Chew the fat!
(Rumor!)
Spill the beans!
(Slander!)
Dish the dirt!
(Libel!)
Dirty laundry, tittle tattle!
But we'll never let him down!
Blind to his faults, to a degree
No one more tolerant
No better friends than we
Let us treat him like a brother!
Let us love him like a mother!
He can trust us, we're his good friends
And we'll never, ever let him down!
(Anger!)
Anger, anger!
(Envy!)
Envy, envy!
(Malice!)
Malice, malice!
(Poison!)
Poison, poison
(Stab!)
Stab, stab, rotten ba*tard!
But don't spread it around!
(Gossip!)
Anger, anger!
(Scandal!)
Envy, envy!
(Rumor!)
Malice, malice!
(Slander!)
Poison, poison!
(Libel!)
Stab, stab, inuendo!
But we'll never let him down!
Blind to his faults, to a degree
No one more tolerant
No better friends than we!
Judging his sins, mercifully!
Here is the final list of which we can agree:
Alcoholic, plagiaristic
Vitriolic, narcissistic
Diabolic, syphilitic
But we mustn't spread it round!
Necrophilic, psychopathic
Schizophrenic, p**nographic!
But don't quote me, I'm his best friend
And I'll never, ever let him down!
Necrophilic, psychopathic
Schizophrenic, p**nographic!
We must help him, he's our good friend
And we'll never, ever let him down!
(Gossip!)
Gossip, gossip!
(Scandal!)
Scandal, scandal!
(Rumor!)
Rumor, rumor!
(Slander!)
Slander, slander!
(Libel!)
Libel, libel, tittle tattle!
Mustn't spread it around...
(Gossip!)
Chit chat!
(Scandal!)
Chew the fat!
(Rumor!)
Spill the beans!
(Slander!)
Dish the dirt!
(Libel!)
Dirty laundry, tittle tattle!
But we'll never let him down!
Griswold, I've decided to write!
You should be my literary executor!
Me??
Him??
How exciting!
How delightful!
How rewarding!
How insightful!
There's a sense of jubilation
And the feeling is profound!
Such perfection to admire
No opinion could be higher!
You can trust him, he's your best friend
And he'll never, ever let him down!
(Shh!!)
You can trust me, I'm you're best friend
And I'll never, ever let you down!
ALL:
You can trust him he's your best friend
And he'll never, ever let you down!!