EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
DONALD TRUMP
VERSUS
EBENEEZER SCROOGE
BEGIN Donald Trump:
Wake up Scrooge
I'm about to take a dickens of a dump
on this lonely, homely
little miserable grump
I'm like the star on a Christmas tree
you're like the stump
I'm not known for my heart
but you're still getting trumped
you remind me of my ex-wife
in a bikini
cause you disgust me
keep your TB from Tiny Timmy
away from me
don't even touch me
I don't shake hands
I don't make fans
I ruin rappers faster than Scottish lands
even Jay-z knows what a pimp I am
I got my name on the
front of the business, man
my raps will haunt you
make you think you're going insane
you're about to get whooped
by three emcee's
of the ethereal plane
so when the clock strikes
prepare to enter a world
of Christmas pain
cause I'm out
I got my own f***ing problems
call me 2 Chainz Ebeneezer Scrooge:
How dare you disturb me
when I'm napping in my chair
you're a crappy rap spitting apparition
I ain't scared of this random phantom
haunt all you want I don't care
I do not believe in ghosts
and I don't believe that hair J.P. Morgan:
Don't panic Scrooge
but you're about to crash
I'm J.P. Morgan
the ghost of rich dudes past
who's properly rocking
the monopoly mustache
yo, I own the railroad
I run these tracks
you got dumped on a bench
now you're pissed at the world
you should have made like Sebastian
and kissed the girl
because your greed is the curse
that's gonna tear you apart
what good is your purse
if you're poor in your heart Ebeneezer Scrooge:
Bah humbug
your raps don't unnerve me
they're atrocious
what frightens me the most
is your gross ghost proboscis
business and success
that's the life I've selected
so enough with your pictures from the past
I'm not affected Yeezy:
Well you're about to be right now
I'm the ghost of what's right now
just take a lesson from Yeezy
you're missing the point Ebeneezy
there's more to life than your work
take it easy
even I can make time for Azizy
best put some friends on your wish list
cause you don't know the spirit of Christmas
if you did than you would at this moment
be sharing your money
with some of the homeless Ebeneezer Scrooge:
No this isn't happening
oh this is maddening agony
wait
actually
harkening back to the dead Donald's lecture
I still am expecting a final specter Ghost of Christmas future:
Boo Ebeneezer Scrooge:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH Ghost of Christmas future:
you're gonna die
no one to love you and no one to cry
alone by yourself
on the bed of your d**h
with the stench of regret
on your last dying breath
cause you've chosen the path
of a selfish man
with Tiny Tim's innocent
blood on your hands
the penance you pay
for the way you behave
is written as plain
as the name on this grave Ebeneezer Scrooge:
Are these the shadows of things that will be?
or things that may be only
if I depart from my course can they change?
say it is thus with what you show me
I promise to mend my ways
a friend to all men is what I will become
it's Christmas I haven't missed
my chance to be different
God bless us every WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
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