[Verse 1]
I got a long list of needs gotta satisfy 'em all
And the first on the list is a bag of Tylenol
Cause I'm stressed out thinking I don't have the time at all
To get my shopping done, let me start here, on the top at one
First, I need to check my e-mail
Oh sh**, yahoo front page news, another celebrity female
That had a wedding recently, the marriage epicly failed
I need to click the link because I need to get the details
Soon as I click it I'm hit with a little ad
That reminds me of a need that I already had
It's an absolute must have need it really bad
Before I read the story I be rushing out of my pad
Now I'm in my car speeding cause I'm itching to find
A Mickey D's drive through so I can sit in the line
Gotta get in it in time, can't waste a minute of time
The McRib's only there for a limited time
And then I'm hit with a sign, that makes a switch in my mind
Reminding me of a need of a different kind
A brightly colored advertisement on a bus bench
Makes me head to Target to pick up tents
Cause tomorrow they're coming out with Call of Duty 84
And it's a necessity I camp out at the store
You never know they might never f**ing make any more
I'm gonna rush to the front when they open the door
And trample over any people that fall down on the floor
This ain't a game, this is war
If you produce it I'll consume it if you shove it down my freaking throat
Everybody else got it, I don't wanna miss the boat
[Hook x2]
It's a lot of sh** I really really need
And I need to get all of it at a really fast speed
I'm aware I'm a puppet of another man's greed
I don't care, I'm in love with all this sh** I really need
[Verse 2]
My duffle bag is packed
With my phone, and my pod, my shuffle, pad, and mac
Got all of my i's dotted, if they made it I got it
And I'mma open my wallet for the next iProduct
Gotta try to give them all that I can bruh
Cause every phone that I own needs to have multiple cameras
And my last one only had one
How can I be seen from boths sides of the screen, I mean
If I don't desperately plead and request for my upgrade
I'll definitely bleed to d**h or die of AIDS
I need better resolution, more gigs!
Angry birds is old, I need war pigs!
I need to tell the landlord as far as what is concerned
I gave Apple every cent that I earned
So I'mma be late, now I need a Tecate
To deflate this stress caused by not letting my needs wait
[Hook]
"God damn man I just need to relax, watch some late night TV
Aw infomercials... Aw f** I need all this sh** too!"
[Verse 3]
I got a lot of insecurities, use 'em to attack me
I'm going bald, getting fat, plus I got acne
I'm looking like a combination of all the before pics
Please pretty please let me make you more rich
Cause I need to get over whatever it is that I'm sick from
List some symptoms, I bet I could pick one
Yeah I got the fifth one, out of 45
Stomach aches, surely I need that particular drug to take
The terrorists got me scared as sh**
Time to buy a terror kit, with a mask for air in it
God bless my soul, I need to invest in gold
The economy as we know it is about to f**ing fold
And we're all gonna die if I don't f**ing buy
All the oil's running dry, asteroids from the sky
Who am I, where am I, what am I, I just need to f**ing find
The nearest Wal-Mart that's got a gun to buy