[Verse 1: Eminem (as Stan)]
Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't calling
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got em
There probably was a problem at the post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot em
But anyways, f** it, what's been up man, how's your daughter
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'mma call her, I'mma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend k** himself over some b**h who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground sh** that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the sh** you did with Ruckus too, that sh** was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan
[Hook: Vanessa Carlton]
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pa** me by
Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight
[Verse 2: Eminem (as Stan)]
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's f**ed up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the concert
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you for four hours and you just said no
That's pretty sh**ty man, you're like his f**ing idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to
Remember when we met in Denver
You said if I'd write you, you would write back
See, I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither
He used to always cheat on my Mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
So when I have a sh**ty day, I drift away and put em on
Cause I don't really got sh** else so that sh** helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too
[Hook: Vanessa Carlton]
[Verse 3: Eminem (as Stan)]
Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Write-My-Fans
This'll be the last package I ever send your a**
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my ca**ette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive
You know the song by Phil Collins "In the Air of the Night"
About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall
I loved you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me
See Slim, shut up b**h, I'm tryna talk
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk
But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see, I ain't like you
Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh sh**, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this sh** out
[Hook: Vanessa Carlton]
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pa** us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...
[Verse 4: Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on a Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that sh** intentionally just to diss you
But what's this sh** you said about you like to cut your wrists too
I say that sh** just clowning dog, come on, how f**ed up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
To help your a** from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this sh** about us meant to be together
That type of sh**'ll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doing just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Stan
Why are you so mad
Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy sh**
I seen this one sh** on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was, it was you, damn