*Tuning Tv*
*Eminem Snortin' Coke
Tv Presenter:
Hello boys and girls
Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships
Do you have a daddy?
I'll bet you do
*Door opens*
Who's your daddy?
Hailie:
Daddy, what're you doing?
Eminem:
Ha Ha!
Eminem & Hailie:
Ok then! Everybody, listen up!
Eminem:
I'm goin' to hell, who's comin' with me?
Hailie:
(innocently) Somebody, please help him!
*giggle*
I think my dad gone crazy!
There's no mountain I can't climb
There's no tower too high,
No plane that I can't learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you, to show you
There ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to
*Hailie Makes Chainsaw Sound*
f**in' brain's brawn, and bra** balls
I cut 'em off, I got 'em pickled and bronzed in a gla** jar
Inside of a hall, with my framed autograph,
Sungla**es with Elton John's name, on my drag wall
I'm out the closet, I been lyin' my a** off
All this time, me and Dre been f**in' with hats off
Dre:
s** it Marshall!
Eminem:
Tell Laura and her husband to back off
Before I push this muthaf**in' bu*ton and blast off
And launch one of these Russians, and that's all
*Hailie Makes Explosion Sound*
Blow every f**in' thing, except Afghanistan on the map, off
When will it stop, when will I knock the crap off
*Knocking*
Hailie, tell 'em baby
Hailie:
My dad's lost it
[Chorus]
Eminem:
There's really nothin' else to say I, I can't explain it
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Eminem:
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em baby
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Eminem:
There's nothin' you could do or say, that could ever change me
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
Eminem:
There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie
Hailie:
I think my dad gone crazy!
It's like my mother always told me
*Eminem Impersinates His Mom*
Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe Ronhe, n codeine n goddammit, you little motherf**er
If you ain't got nothin' nice to say then don't say nothin'
uh..
f** that sh**, b**h, eat a motherf**in' dick
Chew on a prick, and lick a million muthaf**in' co*ks per second
I'd rather put out a muthaf**in' gospel record
I'd rather be a p**y-whipped b**h, eat p**y
And have p**y-lips glued to my face with a clit-ring in my nose
Then quit bringin' my flows, quit givin' me my ammo
Can't you see why I'm so mean? If y'all leave me alone, this wouldn't be my M.O.
I wouldn't have to go eenie meenie minie mo
Catch a h*mo by his toe, man, I don't know no more
Am I the only f**in' one who's normal any more?
Hailie:
Dad!
[Chorus]
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
Aat the same time, can make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme
See what you're seein' is a genius at work
Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first,
'Cuz when I speak, it's tongue in cheek
I'd yank my f**in' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums, get struck by f**in' lightnin' twice at once
And die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with sh**, every time I sung
Like R. Kelly as soon as "bump n' grind" comes on
More pain inside o' my brain, than in the eyes of a little girl inside of a
plane
Aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave,
Screamin' at the sky, the clouds gather it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that's pretty much the jist of it,
Parents are pissed, but the kids love it
Nine millimeter heater stashed in two-seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither
[Chorus]
Eminem:
Crazy
Hailie:
*laughs*
You're funny daddy!