Ladies, listen up. Dragon Boy Suede will make you feel better
Musically, spiritually, and emotionally
Let's listen to case study #1
[Verse 1]
I met a homeless chick, her name was Daisy
She stumbled 'round, actin' all crazy
Talkin' to herself, mutterin' obscenities
Her crib was a cardboard box, with no amenities
She looked like she just crawled out the sewer
I walked over, introduced myself to her
Said "I goes by the name of Dragon Boy Suede
It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance today."
Went back to her cardboard box
Stripped down to our shoes and socks
Laid her down, kissed her gently
Then I threw her the bang of the century
All of a sudden she felt great
She got her mind back; she could think straight
Today she's the president of her own company
She credits this to the night she was humpin' me
[Hook]
I heal with my steel
("Dra-dra-dra-dragon Boy Suede")
For this next adventure, we take you to the site of a gentleman's club
[Verse 2]
I met another chick, she only had one leg
She stripped in the club with a pirate peg
I took her backstage, threw her a pump
She grew back the leg where there used to be a stump
Her friend walked up, scoliosis of the spine
[My prognosis, eight inches a time?]
[Took a good look, a crooked dope rhyme?]
Put her wack vertibrae back in a straight line
Another came by, then another then another
They formed a line, one in front of the other
I healed them all, mind body and soul
Now they got a smile when they up on the pole
From the head to the toe, they got it goin' on
Their bodies are fixed and their problems are gone
They be makin' much cash every time they do a dance
Cause they visited the practitioner in my pants
[Hook]
In this last verse, Dragon Boy Suede is presented with a moral quandary. Check it out—
[Verse 3]
I heard about a chick, she was about to die
I raced to her hospital room to save her life
But she had not yet reached the legal age--
--Of consent; she was still jailbait
The only thing that could save her from her fate
Was considered by the state to be statutory rape
What a waste; such a shame
She pa**ed away before the morning came
I just sat there, so depressed
So frustrated, so stressed
Then all of a sudden my mind snapped
I jumped on the bed cause I had to bring her back
Resurrection via erection
Reanimated, rejuvinated
The gift of life is what you've been given:
Welcome back to the land of the livin'
[Hook]
[Outro]
This might sting a little
Woo
Yes
Y'know, I took a Hippocratic Oath, so ah
Whatever ails ya, I nails ya