I wrote this thinking of Dessa, because it was her favorite
I hold my grudge against you and everyone else, because while I say this
There's a chance your touch could be causing her warmth and while I'm torn
I try to stay sane but the thoughts where I fault in anger speak in my mind and these words are still born
All the parents say and your friends may take these sides for sake of such an innocent face
But these boots won't shake cause one day you'll get it, get it? Maybe I'll just have to wait
But you don't deserve her man. So many things to show the beauty she is
I'm torn apart, you're playing the field with no clue what a gift
You don't know how I strained my life to fix this. Defended her, stand strong and claim my faults in all acts
Or if she's asleep next to you, you whisper you love her, she will always say it back
Her favorite color green. Charlotte Russe her store. She'll smile for nothing and always love you more
And you can never win. I'd k** to see that again. Even men, I'll leave it at that
Any animal she'd love so selfless
Any hurt to her will leave you so helpless
Imma make it known
No embarra**ment man cause I'm grown. What I want I know
The past mistakes might not have made a case of it
But I love her. It's making me say this sh**
You better be sure
I can't help but make a fist. These feelings aren't forced
Luckily for you I'm a thoughtful man with source of sense and some self control
I just put it in song and sweat on the brink of sane and I'm getting close
I hope I can find some piece before I make a mistake of it
God help me. I'm depressed and an atheist. So pa** the bottle with a face to rage against. With hate I could swallow you whole
I should stop before I say something I regret right? It's already a mess
But the thought of you touching flesh isn't something my mind is set to not stress and let go
Say it next time she's sleeping next to you. See if she repeats it in the dark
Then imagine my hate cause she said it to me for four years conscious when she meant it with her whole heart
Verse 2
I wrote this thinking of Dessa, because it was her favorite
I hold my grudge against you and everyone else, because while I say this
There's a chance your touch could be causing her warmth and while I'm torn
I try to stay sane but the thoughts where I fault in anger speak in my mind and these words are still born
It's hard to fake when I know your face and these friendships snake and then fade away
Just to fault in hate but to know you know how she tastes, makes this a dangerous place
Instead of wasting my breath and lips on specifics caused by what you did
I'mma get on some upbeat and brolic sh** b**h cause you don't deserve the acknowledgment
But it's not that easy. My sanity fights my aggression with
Every turn I test myself in thought. Am I strong enough or not? Question is
I'm busy out of body. A crazy itch that can't hide my expression. Making fists
Straining to calm but shaking at risk to put my fist through that f**ing face of his
I hope you're happy with someone easy. It's how you explained to be
Compare between us you made and I'm teething on the pain that's placed in mean
The worth a nice guy you graced relieving all past insecurities
Cause you want it easy, she just wants it easy, so have it easy, but I don't believe
Verse 3
I watched your eyes sweat out care. Dried by the hand that points in morals
To place a statement meant as unfair. No clue how much I adore you
To know another can touch you bare and I have to refer to you in plural
That's my angel I found her in Bel Air Adam, find your own in Laurel
I've made mistakes of my own and claimed. With friends to judge now and all explained
You pa** the truth until it twists and blame is a place for you all to question my name
Guilty looks now in all I promise. Watch you entertain yourself in gossip
To say they don't lie is a failing nonsense, bending the truth is still dishonest
So brave to speak when I'm not around but you fold in front, so you can hear me now
If kind is weak then feel me out. Alone I speak with no foot in mouth
And I know this won't make me any friends. Exploits my pain in every hymn
I write and shake with sweaty skin. Hands release hate through my pen
The pressure breaks tips in all my tension. Imagine your face in every sentence
I get more personal the more I mention. Immortalize you on my record
This hate gone numb I look and listen. You've touched her skin I've seen the pictures
Spoke all day, my eyes have witnessed. You place your hands and I'll show you sickness