It's only days 'till we miss him
And I've learned to cope
By dismissing a night
With alcohol and paper, alone
I'm too self-aware
Before we cared I should have known
That I'd k** myself in thought
Any mistake I'd own
I'm framing
Every picture
No smile on my face
Missed calls, so anxious
That I'd be judged in my ways
Who you told or not
How they see that I'm sour
To break all these friendships
Feeling viewed as a coward
And I'm not crazy
I'm feeling faults [?] on itself
To say it sound try [?] enough
To hold a guard on all else
So resentment is a quilt
We stitch anxious with memories
With a grudge we held at close to comfort acting as enemies
And I hate it
This monster's face I play in
Scare the one thing I love
Squeezing 'til suffocation
Til I'm sorry as a person
Left with nothing to prove
But a chest filled with pain again
And regret for loving you
Hello
How are you doing?
Hope you're doing well
Hello
How are you doing?
I'm doing better now
Right
I may be a bitter man
It's probably better you left
If you could only see me now
How I handle the stress
I'm a shell
Nothing left to prove and still viewed in hate
With a [?] someone like you
Personified by your face
And I'm taking flak
For everything that I could have had
And blame myself
Forgive you easily
That memory and pa**
But a grudge says wait
OCD counts the days
Anxiety makes me pay
And saying I'd crack from the weight
I wanna say stay
But it's not that easy
The damage is too deep for you to forgive
These chains won't free me
I see myself as sick
And don't speak or sleep why'd I?
Unique and overan*lyzing
It's all the same, why try
I'm tripping
Past years I can't grasp, the days
Blurred into weeks trying to sleep
Counting new lines on my face
Any mirror, I stay silent
They all fault when I save hope
Chose to trace your finger makes
Spelling out hate
And I read alone
How are you doing?
Hope you're doing well
Aha
Hello
How are you doing?
Are you still bitter now?
Every moment we hush
Any touch to remember
To answer you honestly
I could be doing much better
But I'm at home
This anger is a bulk that always carried me
It forms a blank at the wall with weight of me bury me
A challenge is my air
My blood palms and [?]
Next to cold sheets and sweat, awake
Losing what's left
Becomes a blur
I fight the difference an*lyzing fur
With a hold that only you can piece
But you're lost in my words
It's all downhill from here
And we both know it
For me at least with [?]
But in poems you start showing
This is laughable, [?]
Complements, act heroic
Within odds in tied with tippy-toe
I crash through, I'm going
Possessive
That pa**ion turned, so I sit alone
Seeing your question of hate
Pretending why I don't know
Reading your message, debating
How to reply, but it's [?]
No more testing
This will be my last goodbye
To your hello