Two feets they come a creepin like a black cat do and two bodies are layin' naked. Creeper think he got nothin' to lose. So he creeps into this house, yeah and unlocks the door and as a man's reaching for his trousers shoots him full of thirty-eight holes. It's the Saturday night special got a barrel that's blue and cold ain't good for nothin but put a man six feet in a hole Big Jim's been drinkin' whiskey and playin' poker on a losin' night and pretty soon ol' Jim starts a thinkin somebody been cheatin' and lyin'. So big Jim commence to fightin', I wouldn't tell you no lie. Big Jim done pulled his pistol, shot his friend right between the eyes.
It's the Saturday night special got a barrel that's blue and cold ain't good for nothin but put a man six feet in a hole Hand guns are made for k**in', they ain't no good for nothin' else. And if you like to drink your whiskey you might even shoot yourself. So why don't we dump 'em people to the bottom of the sea before some ol' fool come around here, wanna shoot either you or me. It's the Saturday night special got a barrel that's blue and cold ain't good for nothin but put a man six feet in a hole It's the saturday night special and I'd like to tell you what you could do with it too and that's the end of the song