{Ladies and gentlemen of the GED cla** of 1999
I have one piece of advice for you
No matter what a stripper tells you
There's no s** in the champagne room
None} {Oh there's champagne in the champagne room
But you don't want champagne, you want s**
And there's no s**
In the champagne room} Don't go to parties with metal detectors
Sure it feels safe inside, but what about
All those n***az waitin' outside with guns?
They know you ain't got one If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12
If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40
Take off that silly-a** hat
The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes
Coolio did some of that sh** Young black men, if you go to a movie theater
And someone steps on your foot, let it slide
Why spend the next twenty years in jail
'Cause someone smudged your Puma?
Cornbread, ain't nuttin' wrong with that No matter what you think of what I'm sayin'
Remember this one thing
There is no s**
In the champagne room No s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
Absolutely, positively, no s** in the champagne room If a homeless person, has a funny sign
He hasn't been homeless that long
A real homeless person
Is too hungry, to be funny If a girl has a pierced tongue
She'll probably s** your dick
If a guy has a pierced tongue
He'll probably s** your dick Here's a horoscope for everyone
Aquarius, you're gonna die
Capricorn, you're gonna die
Gemini, you're gonna die twice
Leo, you're gonna die
Scorpio, you're gonna die f**ing
Ohh yeah
No one goes to hooters for wings
No no no If you've been dating a man for four months
And you haven't met any of his friends
You are not his girlfriend Some of the things I've said may not apply to you
Some of the things I've said may offend you
But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing No matter what a stripper says
There's no s** in the champagne room
None No s** in the champagne room
Said no s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
No no s** in the champagne room
No s** in the champagne room
Can't get none
Can't have none
In the champagne room
Said there's absolutely, positively
No s** in the champagne room Said no, no
Said no
Said Chris said.
There ain't no s**
In the champagne room
No no no
Can't get none
Can't have none