TEACHER:
Good morning, cla**. Good morning, cla**. Cla**? Cla**!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
As you know your regular teacher Sister Rosetta Stone is on a small vacation. However she does send her love, at least fingerpaintings, and desk club she's making. I am your substitute teacher, Sister Mary Elephant.
Cla**, attention. Attention, cla**! Cla**? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Young man, now give me that knife. Thank you.
Now cla**, you all know who I am, so let's find out who you are.
Cla**? Cla**!? SHUT UP!!!!!
CHONG:
Far out, man!
TEACHER:
Thank you.
Now cla**, Sister Rosetta has informed me that your a**ignment for the last two months has been to write an essay in titled How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Who would like to read theirs before the cla**?
Cla**? Cla**!? Cla-- SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Young man in the first row, stand up, state your name, and read your essay.
STUDENT:
Who me?
TEACHER:
Yes. Read your essay, please!
STUDENT:
Uh, I don't have it finished yet.
TEACHER:
Well then, read what you have, young man!
STUDENT:
Okay. The first day on my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then, I went downtown to a quiet job. Then I hung out in front of the d**tore. The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up, then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the d**tore. The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up...
TEACHER:
Now that's fine, young man!
STUDENT:
...Then I went downtown to look for a job...
TEACHER:
Now that's fine, young man!
STUDENT:
...Then I got a job, keeping people from here and out in front of the d**tore. The fourth day on my...
TEACHER:
Young man? Young man? Young man!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Now cla**, I have a surprise for you! I'm going to read you some poems out of this lovely book of poetry. The sun kisses the morning skies. The birds kiss the bu*terflies. The dew kisses the morning gra**. Cla**? Cla**!? Cla-- WAKE UP!!!!!
CHONG:
I gotta go to the can, man!