[Round 1: Unanymous]
Now this situation's gone from bad to worse
Cause it wasn't even my original fixture to clash this nerd
But when I pulled out on my last opponent, respectfully
Cause I didn't think the clash would work
Well that must have scratched a nerve
Cause the motherf**er started tweeting like an Angry Bird
f** the subliminal sh**, you're a f*ggot First
And if your dream in life is for me to write you a battle verse
Maybe you should consider trying to win your battle with facial cancer first
You're softer than baby puke and whale semen
I ain't here to play with you I came to nuke the stage this evening
Throw grenades at you and raise the ceiling
And tell you f** your baby-face, I hate your youthful facial features
If he wants to act like a child then he can play hide-and-seek with sniper beams
What's that? Age-reducing laser treatment
Let me talk to him
This ain't none of that important sh**
This is more that let's get really f**ing ignorant sort of thing, like
f** his fam for supporting him
f** his fans for endorsing him
f** the term battle rap cause I'm bored of it
I prefer multi-syllabic contortionists
I stay eating candy (w)rappers that's why my abdomen's fat as a walrus'
But I'd rather that than a face full of acne scabs as bad as TheSaurus'
Somebody should have had the decency to contact and inform the b**h Hollohan shot his p**no with
If he didn't want me to k** him he'd have stayed back at the orphanage
Where every other failed attempt at a Roman Catholic abortion lives
Maybe he'll understand this is war
When I'm outside a Detroit Pistons game
With missiles aimed at Canada's borders
Dropping them at his co-ordinates, planning your torture
I'll expose the fact that you're fraudulent
Your grip, might be making you flip like acrobatic performances
But once you remove them arms like a weapons heist you'll see that he's unable to capture the audience
I ripped out my brain and replaced it with some weaponry
I ripped the little bits out this little b**h's frame, like I gave him a Cesarean
Some people say we're the same cause we're progressive
But there's no way that he could better me
So make sure that's embedded in your brain because it's definite
You ain't gaining any leverage
Here, your status and reputation is irrelevant
I mean in Canada you're great
But they can't stand you in the states like you're a terrorist
Which is ironic
Cause King of the Dot's been soft
Since Dizaster slayed your f**ing president
He sold your country so much hate that it was prejudice
And still you didn't portray him as a nemesis
Instead you gave him inspiration
And gave in to his invasion of your territory
As he went on to strip your top names off all your medals
And become a native of your settlement
And I said it was a shame to your Canadian inheritance
But you're basically the same
Cause as long as you're in the UK you're an American
I don't want to hear a crock of that bullsh**
About how just because you're Canadian you co*k it and pull it
If I hear it slide out the side of your neck, you're depositing bullets
I'll decapitate this motherf**er and dump his body in Woolwich
[Round 1: Charron]
You, haven't freestyled in years, it's pretty awful friend
Why are you talking about decapitations when you've never come off the head?
Right now, you're screaming in my face like I'm scared and he's someone that's grimy
You think I'm scared of Unanymous? I have his twin brother behind me
I'm a monstrosity, you know the policy
Rely on delivery cause I write bars of mediocrity
You stretch so much constantly I should beat this cloned wannabe
Til he appreciates the meaning of 'quality over quantity'
If this guy's a monstrosity, I'll have him lying unconsciously
No asylum is stopping me
Til the monster inside of him's dying like a Shutter Island lobotomy
Stop saying "monstrosity"
You rap it at ultra speed, slow it down
Stop and breathe
Or die from Russian punches like Apollo Creed
You ain't a monstrosity
You're the least funny rapper in Don't Flop so you're hating on comedy
The scheme's played as a novelty
You expect a reaction because you're saying it constantly
Don't think it cause it's old but this ain't Paleontology
Chalk 'em out when I'm starting a lesson
You're writing the same line over and over like Bart in detention
Anyone can claim they're sparking a weapon
Blew off the top as I carry that Mag like Marge when she's pregnant
f** you and your Cartman impression
Act to heart with aggression
It's like you're on a hunger strike the way you're starved for attention
Make you forget who you are for a second
Like the second when Parkinson's sets in, the credits run
Turn the tables with the smartest intention then ending's done
Starting the engine, you're level one
Like Leonardo's perception of the car in Inception
I just turned your dream world to the darkest dimension
Oh did I mentioned you wouldn't put up a great fight
Oh, you think it's getting re-scheduled like Dialect and Daylyt?
The day it happens, Don't Flop'll have a book that makes profit
Called 'How to rep our league overseas", with Tony D's face on it
You compare yourself to objects, how you getting this hype?
Your whole style's based off ridiculous imagery, like
I'm a three-headed pencil sharpener, swagger shaking
I'm a scented candle with with burgundy wings
Scare the nation, I'm a gla** gun, prepare for Satan
No, you're a fat c*nt who wears an apron
You went off delivery but without substance it s**s
f** a Unanymous decision, try to K.O someone for once
You're a ma**ive f*ggot, the way you rap is basic
You're as good at rapping as Zain is being a travel agent
[Round 2: Unanymous]
Came to lay the smack down
This is a rap round
I don't mind if when I bring up his personal life it don't a reaction
Just as long as they ain't complaining when I get on my rap sh**
b**h you ain't getting any advances
Just your genetics would balance
I've never been average, expert mechanics
I try to reach high up I've reached veteran status
I'm talking legends collapsing, beheading and caskets
I'll put him to sleep like elephant tranqs and blowing darts
With [?]Shinobi stars, broken hearts with ventricles damaged
[?] rap sh**, that rest in the hands of a deadly a**a**in
My tongue is a safety bu*ton and my skeletal fragments act as weapon attachments
Now what you shouldn't do, is a**ume we're even
Cause there's a few between us
What you need to do is stand at attention and salute your leader
I see you're new to this, I'll tutor him
Old School like Duke Nukem
You'll feel like [?]
You're weak and you were a waste of human semen
Now they put you against an elusive demon
Supreme [?] seems to abuse this useless fiend
What I mean is, if you were squeamish
You could leave the room and scream for truce
Cause I'ma leave him bruised and beaten with what I do this evening
Your d**h could be illustrated
A storyboard for a snuff flick
I'll k** him with the picture painted
I don't think the way you spit is great I think it's basic
So to begin today, I'ma just give displays
Of a quicker wit and slicker cadence
While I stomp your silly faces in this kid will play with different phrases
Unanymous is king
I determine whether he's a man or he's a myth
While my punches landing I your blood clots for one shot
No banana for a clip
More like an Orangatang cause I can swing as fast as he could flip
He got his credit card confiscated after he crashed his mother's whip
And now the car's gone you can't find a slag to s** your dick
So you spend time in your sister's cupboard discovering panties you can sniff
[?]
How are you standing up to this?
You don't even stand up when you piss
You're such a f*ggot that you sit and orgasm when you sh**
I'll straight baboon and drop the end is you Organik's baby you'll get throttled
Your greasy face looks like you washed with bacon strips and waffles
Tell the truth b**h, you're a virgin
You ain't been bu*t-naked with a model
When I was stretching girls out, checking whether they could take it to the tonsils
This f**ing twat was at summer camp playing spin the bottle
You'll always play spin the bottle cause you're a p**y bruv
Listen, I don't give a f**, I came to rip it up
I'm smoother than Keith Sweat
I might have no swagger and I'm fat but at least I ain't wearing a f**ing V-neck
So you said I never come off the head
Not when your girl s**s me anyway
I don't give a f**, p**y tastes sweeter than lemonade
She let me penetrate for seven days
I got deep up inside her
You see my t-shirt?
I'll turn you to raw meat cause even the back of it says I woulda Tor C
Listen, Canada's battling league might've planted the seed but I don't care mate
Once this dumb fruit gets up-rooted, his situation will go pear-shaped
sh** I'll turn into a vegetable if he wants to compare weights
So just cause you're Organik's product product doesn't mean that this'll be a fair trade
[Round 2: Charron]
Yo, Tor-C
He talks about the back of his shirt like he's hard as f**
T-O-R-C: Tommy's Obviously A Retarded c*nt
I do play spin the bottle
With fitness models
That's right man, when it comes to p**y when they girls show it, it ain't nice man
I mean when girl's show p**y you say 'What's that?' More than Mr. 13's hype-man
And he wants to diss my shirt like I would get embarra**ed
Bruv, you actually have to have a neck to wear this
I look like Brad Pitt beside you
And I'd like to mention, I nearly cried when you ate so much you died in Se7en
You went soft on Shotty, I don't care if that guy's your brederen
The more I k** someone the more I respect them
Had HFK dying 'til the final second
I put my own dog put down like Will Smith in 'I Am Legend'
You have a hero and mimic that guy's aggression
You're a fake disaster like 9/11
You stare in the mirror and scream, "Dizaster's the man
If anyone fan beat him, Unanymous can!"
One night he came home with blood on his hands
And his mum said 'What happened, Unam?'
'Aw man, f**ing Canibus fans!'
Tommy ain't ready, I brought the confetti, he lost this already
Then he's X'ed off the roster
Tommy don't tempt me, there will be cops out to get me
Like Tommy Vicetti when he steps of the chopper
Came to the UK cause the medicine's stronger
Have you seeing stars all day like celebrity stalkers
Try to escape, I'm letting you wander
Catch you on the run like a Chechnyan bomber
In the trenches so long I got a medal of honor
I don't care if you're dead from the slaughter
I'll keep on feasting on you like Jeffery Dalmer
All you do is scream but my bars are stronger
I'll shut you up if you start to holler like a barking collar
Sparking thoughts like arson plotters
Heartless monster, smart as Harvard scholars
Rocket launcher armed like Carson Palmer
Start to conquer, armies like a carbon copy Sergeant Slaughter
Okay, morbid, stabbing a victim with a sword I'm very consistent
Extraordinary incisions before a corpse is buried I'm with it like a mortuary a**istant
I might spaz if Unan' shouts
So watch your a** like you're sleeping at Two-Can's house
You battle Soul in a random league, who filled your head with grandeur?
Eurgh laid the blueprint, imitators can't throw events that matter
Don't Flop made you who you are and set the standards
DFAFD's a palindrome, how did you get it backwards?
I realize you went there to get some Guap
4000 views in five weeks - it was barely even watched
It lowered your value, it was there but then it dropped
You live on a farm I thought you'd care about your stock
[Round 3: Unanymous]
When I heard that he was in a fake relationship, I thought he's a blatant b**h, it's completely understandable
I don't give a f** if she's Shotty's sloppy seconds, I will beat it like an animal
Snort some Charlie and f** Laura Tarsi in her face and readjust her mandible
And leave my kids in her mouth like a pedophilic cannibal
Imagine this thick pleb trying to get his dick wet
Trying his hardest to pleasure some big-bootied African princess
She'd look at him in disgust like "White boy, is it in yet?"
And in his head he's already got a flip set
He's like 'Yo, yo, I spit fresh, you might be asking if it's in yet
But that's only because you're black and you're used to f**ing brothers like you're practice incest."
I will snap this kid's neck
Let's address some sh** before I finish turning him to luncheon meat
Let's address Villun for ducking me
{Walks over to where Villun is standing}
You f**ing disfigured pygmy infant
I bet every time you look at your mirror's image
It damages your inner spirit because you're f**ing sick of living with it
You're always going on about how it pisses you off when your opponents use race jokes
Stop whinging Villun, cause Albino's not a f**ing race, it's a skin condition
So they can say I'm the ugliest battler in the league
But you can't, cause your skin texture is silk
Looking like a f**ing coco pop that got left in the milk
[Turns back to Charron]
Look, before Canada's battling league opened up
No one had ever heard of this guy
So drop the arrogant act
Cause now they're shipping you overseas and you're practically merchandise
Your image is also why you prosper and that's gotta hurt your pride
Cause if you subtract that nerdy image, you're way below the perfect line
(f**ed that up a little bit, don't watch that)
They make money off your image
They make money off my imagery
Battle Rap is who you are it pumps through your capillaries
You sign the dotted line and now you're stuck here for infinity
Before this, you were some under-confident bedroom-dwelling s**er in some skinny jeans
You'll never make no money off the industry
You'll be stuck forever trying to market rebu*tling sh** lyrically
Cause battle rap f**ed you and you can't rebu*tal your virginity
This battle's sh** nowadays
f*ggot sh**, pisses me off
It's got me wondering why rappers like Lunar C won't come back to this
Why the f** do you think? Trying to impress a bunch of angry kids that wanna throw criticism every about it chance they get
It's bullsh**, I mean this thing that I'm a biter
I haven't got another man's style in mind when I'm creating raps
But if you think I took Dizaster's style tell that f*ggot to come and take it back
I'm on that raw sh**
Alright, f** it, f** the writtens, let's do some freestyle sh**
I speak raw, everything you speak's poor
You probably watch queer p**n
You look like a beanstalk
What you talking to me for? This is a free-for all
I'll straight damage you
Stab you in the abdomen, yeah it's Unanymous
I don't give a f**
They made me feel like you was getting bored of me
You must have forgot the policy
I don't give a f**, when they find his corpse stuffed behind the [?] so sloppily
There'll be a message carved in his chest that says 'I'm A Monstrosity!'
Truth be told I didn't even write a third round
[Charron: we know]
Know why? Because you're a f*ggot
It's so hot here, nah f** it, time
[Round 3: Charron]
Yo, you were quite a bully that round
I think this man needs a lesson
Since you dissed Villun, I'mma stand on his side because right now I have to defend him
His whole life he's been doing it tight bro
And right now you just want to come and get some attention by doing some white jokes
Come on, he's way better than you and gets less hype
Don't diss him, you think that's alright bro?
I never give handshakes to albinos
A hick from Plymouth, he used to play every day in the summer
Getting chased by his brother, laughing as he was waving a rubber
You learned about incest every day after supper
It's like you were home-schooled, cause growing up you only got brains from your mother
That's light work, ask Villain, I'm known as that nice jerk
I just bought Laura Tarsi a 'rap battles ruin my life shirt'
Walking dead, this could turn to a slaughter
In front of Eurgh treated him like the governerd is his daughter
Think it's a game? I'll turn to a monster
You can't play this campaign, you're on your last leg like Herschel the doctor
Got a d**h wish and I lit a candle
This Plymouth p**y only rides out with beef when he's shipping cattle
In this battle all you did was ramble
It takes you longer to say something than a victim of Jimmy Saville
Yo, you threaten rappers on Twitter, talking tough from your mum's house
Claiming you'll snuff 'em is something I honestly just doubt
Tommy's a ho
You ain't a boss you constantly just shout
All of us know Psychosis Holochaust would knock you the f** out
You try to be his friend at events because you ain't a man
You're like Muhammed Ali, instead of throwing a punch you just shake a hand
I hate Unan, talking sh** but no one's shook of you
You're a ghost in Mario, act tough behind someone's back but freeze up when they look at you
Screaming in my face, okay he's talking faster
Speeding up the pace, I blame a lot of rappers
He just imitates, but wait he's not Disaster
You're sweeter than a cake you baked for Holly Master'
f** a Caustic reference, you should rock a necklace that says 'I'm not good enough looking to get Jefferson's sloppy seconds'
Your fake accident is pathetic, I'm surprised the crowd doesn't boo
Just because you're the size of an American doesn't mean you have to sound like one too
How come after you spit, and kids are reacting
You think that you're on 'Strictly Come Dancing'?
Stop wiggling your shoulders when you can't remember a line
Your whole style's based off stretching a rhyme
sh**, you even stretch while you rhyme
In Canada, you stayed in The Saurus' room while he had a broad in bed
Just because your gut blocks your co*k doesn't mean you have to block your friends
My two minutes are up but they're letting me rock
It's like that British show, Corey is never going to stop
What, you're gunna hurt me?
It's obvious Chris Leese wrote half those schemes in your doubles tourny
You're co*ky and think you're the best rapper
This diva's been getting lines off a friend like Tulisa from X Factor
X Factor, coronation, this is insane
I'm using shows to show you we ain't thinking the same
Tommy Villus, let it sink into your brain
Your initials are TV, I just k**ed you with your name