[Intro: Announcer]
CHAOTIC RAP BATTLES!
BATTLE NUMBER TWO!
DISNEY'S FAVORITE PIRATE VILLIAN
THE BEST PIRATE IN THE CARRIBEAN
THE MOST ANTICIPATED MACHO
BETWEEN JACK SPARROW VS CAPTAIN HOOK
Let's go!
[Verse 1: Captain Jack Sparrow]
Captain Jack Sparrow here, to spit some fire on the mic
Against this has-been pirate b**h?
You're not even worth the fight!
Think you can step to these cannons?
You can't even begin to compete
I'll ship your a** back to never land
With a big taste of DEFEAT
I'm the best damn pirate to ever sail the seven seas
You're a G-Rated p**y, who should have never been on TV!
So drinks all around, to me kicking this punk's a**
I don't have time to waste on a crippled wannabe from the past
[Verse 2: Captain James Hook]
You dare to belittle me?
The almighty James Hook?
Put down the rum for once, and take a second f**ing look!
Crippled?
You're constantly drunk and wobble around like a fool!
I'll destroy your scurvy a**, cuz I'm straight up old school!
I'll eat you like the Kraken cuz your rapping sk**s are slacking
If you think you're the best captain
Wake up b*tch, that'll never happen!
By land sea or ship, I'll burn your a** at the stake
I'm the OG Buccaneer, you're Disney's biggest Mistake!
[Verse 3: Captain Jack Sparrow]
You wanna cross blades boy?
Then come and BRING IT ON!
I'll kick your poser cartoon a** straight on til morn!
Your puny ship will get SUNK
Against my might Black Pearl
I'll set sail for that second star and crush your puny world!
[Verse 3: Captain James Hook]
Gonna talk sh**?
Gonna get hit!
You'll be tasting your own blood
You best abandon ship
"Captain"
This be a lyrical flood!
Sea Turtles? MY ASS!
You lie right through your lips
You'll lose this battle to a BETTER pirate
Just like you lost your ship!
[Verse 4: Captain Jack Sparrow]
If you think you're a better pirate
Then I feel bad for you, son
I've got 99 problems
But a HOOK ain't one!
A 14 year old kid beat your a**!
And gave you a permanent stitch!
They fed your hand to the croc, then made you their b*tch!
[Verse 5: Captain James Hook]
You've made 4 motion pictures and weren't sober for a one!
That's why the rums gone b**h
Now THAT'S a problem son!
That croc may have got me hand, but you're a** I'll still spank!
I'll back hook you in the face, then make you walk the plank!
[Verse 6: Captain Jack Sparrow]
You'll need all the help you can get
Better call for all hands on deck
I'll send you to the depths, you're not even a threat!
This day will be the day that you won't ever forget
I lie cheat and steal, and I k** sh**!
Everytime I step to the mic
I spit ill sh**
This is a catastrophe
You're not even a match for me
And you wanna battle with me?
That's Blasphemy!
You're a Codfish, b**h!
I'm a pirate lord all the while
You chase little boys, mate
That's called a pedophile
[Verse 7: Captain James Hook]
You best weigh your anchor, Jack!
And slow the hell down
Because saying stuff like that is going to get your a** drowned!
You run from every single fight
But I've got the k**ing itch
It's the World's Biggest Crook VS the World's Biggest b*tch!
I'm gonna spill all your blood until the seas run red
Bring a mutiny on your a**!
And send you back to the land of the dead
[Verse 8: Captain Jack Sparrow]
Well you're trying hard, hook
So let me give you a HAND
You shoot your rhymes like your cannons
Because your disses NEVER-LAND!
[Verse 9: Captain James Hook]
Laugh all you want, Jack
Chicks love my big Hook
You're always getting smacked
It must be from your looks
[Verse 10: Captain Jack Sparrow]
HA!
I'm sorry Hook
I just can't take you serious
When everytime you finger a girl
You put them on their PERIOD
[Verse 11: Captain James Hook]
A s** joke, really?
That's actually quite a shock
Coming from a guy who's compa**
Never hits the right spot!
[Verse 12: Captain Jack Sparrow]
I'm sick of all this ownage
Your rap straight up su*kED!
You will always remember this as the day
Was the day you got fu*kED!
You're on straighter tides, son
I'll put you at world's end
But Mr. Smee's gonna be pretty lonely
Without his boyfriend
I'll slit your throat and steal your ship
Then hang you by the rope!
I'll commandeer your mother
And show her my telescope
Then challenge you to a rematch!
I'll beat you TWICE for mocking!
So make way for Tortuga!
But they don't have Handicapt Docking
[Verse 13: Captain James Hook]
Blast that Peter Pan!
But he's more man than you
I don't ever keep to the code
Parlae will never save you!
You're the WORST pirate I've ever seen, Sparrow
You're nothing!
Half your crew has tried to k** you
Doesn't that tell you something?
You've got a jar of dirt
That you think protects you from evil?
f** that!
I'll beat your a** down and then come back for a sequel!
NOTHING you could do will EVER protect you from me!
So challenge accepted, Jack
A second battle there will be