I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake
'Til the afternoon, because I slept in late
With a great mental state and a date with destiny
I'll roll down the block without a copper even stressin' me
Let alone arrestin' me or giving me a ticket
It's coming into summer, and the weather's f**ing wicked
So I figured I'd be hitting the beach
Look at skinny-dipper's titties and get something to eat
After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger
I was sitting on my arse like a council worker
Reminiscing about being pissed off about
My house burning down to the ground, and being out on my arse
Before my change of fortune
Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon
So your mama's on the head of my knob
And it's better than heading to my dead-end job
Because the boss was a co*khead when I was a clerk
So I clocked him - and now I don't work
It's beautiful day, and I can use a cliche, cause
"I am the greatest!" ...like Ca**ius Clay
I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
I couldn't give a sh** about your corporate hierachy
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man
I rock around in track-and-thongs
f**ed off a buck-of-bongs
If you don't like it, you can come s** a long dick.
'Cause I'm brit pop, all the way to hip hop
I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking gyp-rock
But I'm sh**-hot, no matter how you look at it
And my lyrics make you wanna read the book-a-let'
Don't - 'cause I'm cooking it like the iron chef!
That's why I'm deaf, up to the high clef
Figjam!
The rhymes are fat like Chief Wiggum and in fact
I never lack it's like a magic pack of Tim Tams
W'ere the ducks nuts and you s** and I dont' give-a-damn, so good on the cut
They should call me Edward Scissorhands
So give a hand for me and my a**ociates ... (You s**!)
Well that's just inappropriate
Smoke me a kipper, b**h
I'm from the Ipa-switch
Side of town, don't forget to write it down
(West side, eeee!)
What the f**? It ain't gangster rap!
Think you're tougher, then you'd probably suffer wa*ker's cramp
And I'll thank you to f** right off
Professional f**wits, take one night off
I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
As a concept, the intellect can't grasp me
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man!
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man!
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man!
Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherf**ing man!
I got the strong profile, without the help of rhinoplasty
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
Kicking arse in the charts, but you can't cla** me
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
I just had a threesome with ya moma and your aunty
Figjam!
f** I'm good, just ask me
And they're coming back this arvo for the bukkake party
Figjam!
My dick is bigger than a wigwam!
And you can see my peepee three feet above the tv
And if you are getting very sleepy, wake up!
(these c*nts need a shake up)
I'm a jet-setter, go-getter, but I got a vendetta
Just got a d**h threat over the phone
Better go lay low, under ground, like a bilby
Figjam!
Chill man, people wanna k** me!
But I don't let that bullsh** sweat me
I'm at ya mama's if you wanna come and get me,
You shady f**, I may be stuck
In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by lady luck
You wanna stop me? You'd Wanna do it properly?
[Blam blam]
Ah f**! Somebody shot me!