Yeah, uh! Whoa, whoa! What, me? No! Yes?
You might know me as Christopher Walken
But now you can refer me as Christopher Rappen
I've been acting for years now I've decided to rap
I thought, "hey anyone can do it", just look at Shaq
"Macho Man" Randy Savage, yeah, he rapped too
Sure, it was a failure but I'm bringing something new
I can rap about virtually anything, for example, I hate wasps
[?]
I'm here on the scene, I eat green beans
Stay in school because it's pretty keen
Listen to me, my advice is free
Wear a condom or you'll regret it when you pee
Yes, kids, that was a reference to gonorrhoea. I'm just hanging out here in my suit and tie because I'm awesome and cool. Yeah, let's go!
I have been in a lot of award winning flicks
But sometimes you just gotta' balance it out with the sh**
I was in Gigli and The Country Bears
No one else would do it 'cause no one else dares
I guess I'm just crazy gangster like that
Oh yeah, I was also in Kangaroo Jack
In Pulp Fiction I kept a pocket watch in my a**
For two years, man, my farts still smell like bra**
Wait a minute, was it bra** or was it gold?
I forgot what you want, yo I'm getting old
I've driven a Lancer, I'm a true romancer
And on top of that I'm a really good dancer
I was lying about the Lancer part, I've never driven one. It just rhymed well. But I do dance, check out this jig! Watch out! I'm dancing here! Whoa, whoa!
Everybody doing bad impressions of me must be stopped
You may think it's flattering but frankly it's really not
The next person who says I need a little more cowbell
Can go straight to the very deep depths of Hell
Sure, you can think I'm kidding but I can make it happen
Anything's possible when you're Christopher Rappen
Okay enough with the cowbell. That's way too much cowbell. Overk** with the cowbell. It's not funny anymore with the cowbell. Stop it, stop it. For all that is holy, stop it!