This is an open rap to you
The one I've stuck with glue
They say wealth is in the mind, not the pockets
Especially with what I've seen through my eye sockets
I don't need anymore zeros, I have all those digits
I have EVERYTHING I could dream for, I seized it
Though, sometimes I can't get a single thing off my mind
I lied. I don't got everything; can't take my life and rewind..
Yeah, I got the money. Yeah, I got all the hunnies, n***as be talking behind my back bout it like something is silly
Yeah, I got the figure. Look in the mirror, them n***as wishing they were stronger
Emotionally scarred, Cause I invested my time in you
And I still don't know what happened but I keep telling myself I will make it through
Everyone 'round me says I made the right choice;
But I just want to listen to my heart, it sounds like the right voice
Man... I don't want to fight. I don't even know if we will ever be tight
Life got in the way and our way of thinking wasn't right
Society is fu*kED up, and it's been every man for himself
I don't know what you think of me
I don't know what you've seen
Just like you don't know where I've been
Who I've talked with, or what's my scene
But I do have an opinion, and I do think you've treated our friendship like I was just a minion
But, I have to rethink on that
Like, there were instances that wasn't a fact
Our friendship was what put us on the map
I do want to know
What you've been up to
I do want to know
What you've been through
I do want to know
If you've moved past the blow
I do want to know
That you're living a safe life
I do want to know
If tomorrow has the hope you deserve
I do want to know, you're still kicking it in the fast lane quick to react when n***as swerve
But I probably will never know
I probably will never get to see you again
And I can't write everything that's been on my brain
I've been trying to refrain from this rap
Cause this journey been nothing but crap
God damn..
I've been running around like the sap
That I am
Why did you lie to me so often, like about sh** that really mattered. Like how you felt
We coulda figured sh** out and simply dealt
Could have made it through, but you treated my opinion like a grain of salt
Was it my fault?
Too opinionated?
Infatuated on my own ego
I never thought I was a saint
But I knew I was always above evil
Now I don't know where I am
Walking down streets nothing but empty
People talking but I only hear pity
Rethinking plans lately
Rethinking life, sadly
Isn't that kinda ironic?
How I always thought I was on the right track
I still do, but I don't think I'll ever be in the right lane
I'll never be the same
In fact, I once had a best friend
Wish that never came to its end
We knew everything about eachother, he was my f**ing brother
Time moved on, and our minds became harder
Oh; how we didn't predict time would be the k**er
Oh, didn't predict our blood would grow thinner
And thinner
And thinner
And thinner
Impatient to the stress life brings, and the corner it shoves you into
Better collect our things, cause this journey we have never been through
We would never be the same, that's true enough
Now we both are left missing a bigger half
I don't even know if you are hearing this sh** coming out of my mouth..
I haven't been in my right mind the last few months
I know you haven't, too, that's true enough
Did you actually do that sh** to those girls? Did you do it all for thrills?
I will never know, and as much as that's big..
I'll be honest, that's not why it all stung
It's because you were spewing lies from your tounge
'Bout how you've been treating your girls; but how you treated them, in our friendship, wasn't the wrong
My opinion is past that
What past that line was how you kept breaking my trust
Over and over. No matter what the cost
But I kept forgiving, and you don't know how much that tore me apart
It tore us apart
As time went on your line drew thinner, but in the end I was eating your lies up for dinner
Now, if you told me how you felt
Now, if you told me you were in so much pain you wanted to just shout
Instead of playing it off like how
These girls were just playing games
Writing down names, making up things;
Instead it went down harsh. We don't talk
I thought you needed a push, so I went for a walk
I needed time to step away and breathe from all the info I was getting
It definitely was more than I could handle in one sitting
Then I found out you had an insecurity towards thinking I f**ed one of your exes
And I did f** up as a friend sometimes, I confess
But that's something I'd never do, it'd destroy me.. make me a mess
So when you asked, I told you the truth that I didn't..
Then I found out you didn't trust me, man that didn't feel plesent
Especially when you were the one who did that type of sh** to me
I had no interest and I can't believe you didn't see
Why would I go round n pull the same sh** you did 3 times but worse? Please
I got quite offended
It brought it all back in my head
I started to feel dead..
My world spinned and I couldn't even talk to you..
But I still loved you..
But I still love you..
That's why I feel so broken
Everyone says this is right.. but why does it feel so wrong?
Emotions everywhere like the ball in pong
About logging into your account; I wanted to see if the messages they showed me were true;
I didn't do anything malicious, had no intention- never would no matter how sour we are, I'm sure you knew
It was once you and I verses the world-
But we both got caught up in our own, acted so cold
You have my soul
PS. I know I'm not pitch perfect either
But at least I put your emotions first: better than my actual brother
That's all I wanted..
Now I'm just wasted..
I can't face it