I am the result of an experiment that went wrong
Whenever a chick would call me a 'ba*tard' while
We were f**ing, my dick would become four feet long
(you ba*tard)
Yeah
I'ma tell you the story of a scientist
Who's experiments were very odd
He dreamed of creating a pill[?]
That would make men's dicks stay hard
He advertised in the paper
Bout some lucky guy who needed a gig
So I went to apply for the motherf**ing job
Not knowing I would be a guinea pig
He said, "Just stay calm
I promise you, you won't get hurt
I've tried this sh** on hogs and frogs
And I tell you, god damn it, it worked!"
He said, "You see this sh** here in this needle?
It's gonna change your whole
Motherf**ing life."
He said, "When I get through with that prick of yours
I'ma let you try it out on my wife. Yeah!"
I said, what? Yeah
She laid down and spreaded her legs
And said, "Boy, come on in"
But when I pulled my dick out
The who*e began to grin
She said, "Degrate myself with something like that?
Huh, not me"
She said, "You may not believe this
But I've seen bigger pricks on a flea."
And that made me mad, yeah
So I climbed up on top of this b**h
And I put my dick in to the hip
I said, "Just lay back and get ready b**h
While I give you some of my filth."
The c*nt on this b**h was so f**ing big
I swear I was like f**ing outer space
And after I put my dick in this b**h
I think I was up to my waist
I said, "Help somebody!" (help me! help me! incredible)
She said, "f**ing something like this
I tell ya is a disaster!"
Then that b**h wrapped her legs around my waist
And said, "f** me you f**ing ba*tard!" (f** me! f** me!)
Suddenly something strange began to happen to me
And my prick began to rise (say what)
It grew and it grew and it grew and it grew to
Eighty times its size! (god damn)
She started to scream as I shot a load in her
As her p**y broke up like gla**
It came out her mouth and her eyes and her nose
And out of the crack a her a**
She hollered and screamed and screamed
And hollered as she began to sh**
But this four-feet ten-inch prick of mine
Had tore her p**y to bits, yeah!
The incredible f**
Yeah, the incredible f**
I told my friends
What had happened and they thought it all was lies
So I dropped my pants to show them my prick
But it was back to its normal size
I tried to tell them what thad happened
But they swear I must be wrong
They said, "How could a p**y be s-ripped to bits
By a prick only two inches long?" (it's the money)
Yeah, I couldn't understand that sh** my god damn self
Suddenly hoes from everywhere came running
To find out if it was true
That a dude with a two inch prick
Could make the walls of a chick's p**y cave through
It was true all mother f**ing right
And they was dying to find out, yeah
The incredible f**
It was too big to s**
I had to carry it on a truck
Ah what motherf**ing luck
Then one morning I read in the paper
Something that made me sick
Some dumb cracker was giving a million dollars
To anyone with the biggest prick
Then suddenly it occurred to me
That money's what I've been after
I could win this sh**
If I only I could get someone to call me a 'ba*tard'
Yeah!
Incredible f** is what I will be
Talking 'bout minerals and protein
Man my dick was full
So I went on and entered the contest
Not knowing I had to compete against a bull
There was also a dinosaur, a hippopotamus
And a gorilla and just when I thought that I had it made
I looked around and there was Godzilla
Huh huh huh
I started to get scared
My knees started shaking, yeah
The juror was a redneck
He said, "All this motherf**ing sh** I mastered."
He said, "Drop your pants
And show that prick of yours you n***a ba*tard."
And he shouldn't have did that god damn sh**
Suddenly horns grew out of my head
A devil tail growing behind
My eyes crossed all up and sh** (oh sh**)
Train smoke started coming out my nose (check out that dick)
And that prick of mine started to rise
And rise and rise and rise! And rise!
Til it was taller than the empire state building
The sh** was sticking up in the air so far
Planes had to re-route themselves
To keep from running into it
The moon had to get off its axis
And go the other motherf**ing way
Because that prick of mine was
Way up there in the atmosphere, ya queer
Yeah ah ah haha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ah
And I won the money honey
All of that sh**
And then I looked around
And that was the dinosaur, mad
And that was Godzilla
So you know what I did there
I rammed Godzilla in the a**
And then I got a hole to the bull
I threw his motherf**ing a**
In the cellar as steaks
Which left my fridgerator full
Yeah, the incredible f**
Gotta carry it in my truck
What motherf**ing luck
It's too big to s**
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
Ha ha aah ah ah ah
I like to say something about a friend of mine
Who swears that he can rap
He talk all kinda sh** on the radio
Like his motherf**ing lips got the clap
The motherf**er that I'm rapping about
I'm sure that you all know
All the f*ggots call him Darling
But you know him as Kurtis Blow
You think he's good, you think he's it
But I'm here to tell you that he ain't sh**
Cause his a** can't take what his ears will see
Cause I cum on his mind make him weak in the knees
Play with his woman's p**y 'til the hairs turn red
Make her jerk off her daddy, give a mammoth some head
Keep her cumming 'til there ain't none left
Cause I can f** so good I wanna f** myself
I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh ooh ah ah
Oooh, ah ah
I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh-ooh ah ah
Oooh ooh ah ah
Yeah!
And these- this is the way he say it
He got a little sh** to talk
I say do it, I say do it, I say do it, do it, do it
But that doesn't compare with this motherf**er here
I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh ah ah
Oooh ooh ah ah
I go ooh, I go ah
I go ooh ooh ah ah
Oooh ooh ah ah
Fee fee fo fum ooh ooh cum cum
Ooh ooh ah ah ooh ooh ah ah
Now when everybody up here in your town
And my prick all you chicks are after
And you don't want your p**y torn to threads
Don't call me a 'ba*tard'
The incredible f**
I have to carry it in a truck
It's too big to s**
What motherf**ing luck
Yeah, unh