Once I had a husband
You know the sort of chap
I met him at a dance
And he came on with the chat
He said my eyes were deep blue pools
My skin as soft as snow
He told me I was s**ier than Marilyn Monroe
And we went dancing
We went dancing
Then, of course, I found
That I was six weeks overdue
We got married at the registry
An' then we had a do
We all had curly salmon sandwiches
An' how the ale did flow
They said the bride was lovelier than Marilyn Monroe
And we went dancing
Yes, we went dancing
Then the baby came along
We called him Darren Wayne
Then three months on I found that I was in the club again
An' though I still fancied dancing
My husband wouldn't go
With a wife he said was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe
No more dancing
No more dancing
By the time I was twenty-five
I looked like forty-two
With seven hungry mouths to feed
And one more nearly due
My husband, he walked out on me
A month or two ago
For a girl they say who looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe
And they go dancing
They go dancing
Yes, they go dancing
They go dancing