Interest, with his Foot-boy. To them, Compa**, Ironside,
Silk-worm, Palate, Pleasance. To them, the Lady:
and after Practice.
Int. Run to the Church, Sirrah. Get all the Drunkards
To ring the Bells, and jangle them for joy
My Niece hath brought an Heir unto the House,
A lusty Boy. Where's my Sister Loadstone?
A sleep at afternoons! It is not wholesome;
Against all rules of Physick, Lady Sister.
The little Doctor will not like it. Our Niece
Is new deliver'd of a chopping Child,
Can call the Father by the name already,
If it but open the Mouth round. Mr. Compa**,
He is the Man, they say, fame gives it out,
Hath done that act of honour to our House,
And friendship to pomp out a Son, and Heir,
That shall inherit nothing, surely nothing
From me, at least. I come t' invite your Ladiship
To be a witness; I will be your Partner,
And give it a Horn-spoon, and a Treen-dish;
ba*tard, and Beggars Badges, with a Blanket
For Dame the Doxey to march round the Circuit,
With Bag, and Baggage.
Com. Thou malicious Knight,
Envious Sir Moath, that eats on that which feeds thee,
And frets her goodnes, that sutains thy being;
What company of Mankind would own thy Brotherhood,
But as thou hast a Title to her Blood,
Whom thy ill nature hath chose out t' insult on,
And vex thus, for an accident in her House,
As if it were her crime! Good innocent Lady,
Thou shew'st thy self a true corroding Vermine,
Such as thou art.
Int. Why, gentle Mr. Compa**?
Because I wish you joy of your young Son,
And Heir to the House, you ha' sent us?
Com. I ha' sent you?
I know not what I shall do. Come in Friends:
Madam, I pray you be pleas'd to trust your self
Unto our company.
Lad. I did that too late,
Which brought on this calamity upon me,
With all the infamy I hear; your Soldier,
That swaggering Guest.
Com. Who is return'd here to you,
Your vowed Friend, and Servant, come to sup with you,
So we do all; and I'll prove he hath deserv'd
That special respect, and favour from you,
As not your Fortunes, with your self to boot,
Cast on a Feather-bed, and spread o' the' Sheets
Under a brace of your best Persian Carpets,
Were scarce a price to thank his happy merit.
Int. What impudence is this? can you indure
To hear it, Sister?
Com. Yes, and you shall hear it;
Who will indure it worse. What deserves he,
In your opinion, Madam, or weigh'd judgement,
That things thus hanging (as they do in doubt)
Suspended, and suspected, all involv'd,
And wrapt in error, can resolve the Knot?
Redintegrate the fame, first of your House?
Restore your Ladiships quiet? render then
Your Niece a Virgin, and unvitiated?
And make all plain, and perfect (as it was)
A practice to betray you, and your name?
Int. He speaks impossibilities.
Com. Here he stands,
Whose Fortune hath done this, and you must thank him.
To what you call his swaggering, we owe all this.
And that it may have credit with you, Madam,
Here is your Niece, whom I have married, witness
The Gentlemen, The Knight, Captain, and Parson,
And this grave Politick Tell-troth of the Court.
Lad. What's she that I call Niece then?
Com. Polish's Daughter;
Her Mother Goodwy' Polish hath confess'd it
To Grannum Keep, the Nurse, how they did change
The Children in their Cradles.
Lad. To what purpose?
Com. To get the portion, or some part of it,
Which you must now disburse intire to me, Sir,
If I but gain her Ladiships consent.
Lad. I bid God give you joy, if this be true.
Com. As true it is, Lady, Lady, i' th' Song.
The Portion's mine, with Interest, Sir Moath;
I will not 'bate you a single Harrington,
Of Interest upon Interest. In mean time,
I do commit you to the Guard of Ironside,
My Brother here, Captain Rud-hudibras:
From whom I will expect you, or your Ransom.
Int. Sir, you must prove it, and the possibilty,
Ere I believe it.
Com. for the possibility,
I leave to trial. Truth shall speak it self.
O, Mr. Practice, did you meet the Coach?
Pra. Yes, Sir, but empty.
Com. Why, I sent it for you.
The business is dispatch'd here, ere you come;
Come in, I'll tell you how: you are a Man
Will look for satisfaction, and must have it.
All. So do we all, and long to hear the right.