AN APARTMENT AT THE COURT.
ENTER AMORPHUS AND ASOTUS.
Amo.
Sir, let not this discountenance or disgallant you a whit;
you must not sink under the first disaster. It is with your young
grammatical courtier, as with your neophyte player, a thing usual
to be daunted at the first presence or interview: you saw, there
was Hedon, and Anaides, far more practised gallants than yourself,
who were both out, to comfort you. It is no disgrace, no more than
for your adventurous reveller to fall by some inauspicious chance
in his galliard, or for some subtile politic to undertake the
bastinado, that the state might think worthily of him, and respect
him as a man well beaten to the world. What? hath your tailor
provided the property we spake of at your chamber, or no?
Aso.
I think he has.
Amo.
Nay, I entreat you, be not so flat and melancholic. Erect
your mind: you shall redeem this with the courtship I will teach
you against the afternoon. Where eat you to-day?
Aso.
Where you please, sir; any where, I.
Amo.
Come, let us go and taste some light dinner, a dish of sliced
caviare, or so; and after, you shall practise an hour at your
lodging some few forms that I have recall'd. If you had but so far
gathered your spirits to you, as to have taken up a rush when you
were out, and wagg'd it thus, or cleansed your teeth with it; or
but turn'd aside, and feign'd some business to whisper with your
page, till you had recovered yourself, or but found some slight
stain in your stocking, or any other pretty invention, so it had
been sudden, you might have come off with a most clear and courtly grace.
Aso.
A poison of all! I think I was forespoke, I.
Amo.
No, I must tell you, you are not audacious enough; you must
frequent ordinaries a month more, to initiate yourself: in which
time, it will not be amiss, if, in private, you keep good your
acquaintance with Crites, or some other of his poor coat; visit his
lodging secretly and often; become an earnest suitor to hear some
of his labours.
Aso.
O Jove! sir, I could never get him to read a line to me.
Amo.
You must then wisely mix yourself in rank with such as you
know can; and, as your ears do meet with a new phrase, or an acute jest, take it in: a quick nimble memory will lift it away, and, at
your next public meal, it is your own.
Aso.
But I shall never utter it perfectly, sir.
Amo.
No matter, let it come lame. In ordinary talk you shall play
it away, as you do your light crowns at primero: it will pa**.
Aso.
I shall attempt, sir.
Amo.
Do. It is your shifting age for wit, and, I a**ure you, men
must be prudent. After this you may to court, and there fall in,
first with the waiting-woman, then with the lady. Put case they do
retain you there, as a fit property, to hire coaches some pair of
months, or so; or to read them asleep in afternoons upon some
pretty pamphlet, to breathe you; why, it shall in time embolden you
to some farther achievement: in the interim, you may fashion
yourself to be careless and impudent.
Aso.
How if they would have me to make verses? I heard Hedon
spoke to for some.
Amo.
Why, you must prove the aptitude of your genius; if you find
none, you must hearken out a vein, and buy; provided you pay for
the silence as for the work, then you may securely call it your
own.
Aso.
Yes, and I'll give out my acquaintance with all the best
writers, to countenance me the more.
Amo.
Rather seem not to know them, it is your best. Ay, be wise,
that you never so much as mention the name of one, nor remember it mentioned; but if they be offer'd to you in discourse, shake your light head, make between a sad and a smiling face, pity some, rail at all, and commend yourself: 'tis your only safe and unsuspected course. Come, you shall look back upon the court again to-day, and be restored to your colours: I do now partly aim at the cause of your repulse—which was ominous indeed—for as you enter at the door, there is opposed to you the frame of a wolf in the hangings, which, surprising your eye suddenly, gave a false alarm to the heart; and that was it called your blood out of your face, and so routed the whole rank of your spirits: I beseech you labour to forget it. And remember, as I inculcated to you before, for your comfort, Hedon and Anaides.
[EXEUNT.]