[Intro: Dave Chappelle & Bailey]
f** yo couch, n***a
Yeah f** yo couch n***a
Let me tell you about this sh**
If a motherf**er spill his motherf**ing drink on you in the club while you fresh, he f**ing up yo couch man
If a b**h loud as hell in yo ear while you trying to get yo smoke on and you asleep, she f**ing up yo couch man
If the police come around this motherf**er messing up ya paper, they f**ing up yo couch
[Verse 1: Bailey]
I'm hella in the spot just flossing b**h
Stepping on shoes, disrespecting, and tossing sh**
When I'm outside, n***a, I'mma pee on ya whip
f** the bartender, nah, I ain't leaving a tip
And I'mma let a broad know that if her a** is whack
Straight mean mugging n***as til they mad at that
Perhaps I go around this motherf**er with a cup of Moët, spitting on them hoes' necks
Flipping over tables, throwing chairs at the DJ, shoving n***as, f** what security say
Putting holes in the speakers by the velvet rope, in the non-smoking area, is hella smoke
Just stomping, n***a like I own this place, the promoter mad, I can see it on his face
If a n***a do a lot I'mma punch him in his mouth
I don't gotta be in ya house to f** up yo couch, yeah b**h
[Hook: Bailey]
You gotta twist wit it, do like this wit it
Move yo hips side to side, put yo fist wit it
f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a
You gotta twist wit it, do like this wit it
Move yo hips side to side, put yo fist wit it
f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a, f** yo couch n***a
[Verse 2: Bailey]
Yeah man, you better fix grandma's plastic
I'm coming to yo hood and i got bad habits
I'mma toss rotten eggs til they smell like bums
Hit the hood liquor store, sell my d**
Do fishtails and donuts, f** yo couch
Knocking this right here, til the amps blow out
I don't really care about nothing, I'm stuntin'
Posted on the block and the engine ain't runnin'
Slide out, rob a n***a hide out, leave the trash
Like the residue, dope scale, seeds, and bags
Hit yo hood everyday you'll be thinking how can he
Roll through the hood and make it hot as Miami
Holla at ya main b**h getting the puss
Cause she know when you a square, that's clearly a wuss
Only give the type of Gs West Philly a cook
I could lie about how I feel, but its really the hook
[Hook: Bailey]
[Verse 3: Bailey]
See, I'll be all up in people halls, dumping ashes laughin'
Spitting, wiping snot, f** using a napkin
Running in the fitting room, while hoes undress
They leaving used condoms on yo man's front steps
Taking n***as b**hes from right under they armpit
She used to lead the choir, now she stripping on market
If its not ya girl's couch, then I'm f**ing up some other hoes
In the laundry mat, throwing bleach on ya color clothes
Hoes know I'm lil' daddy wit clout
It pays off for checking in the cracks of the couch
I'm in the town giving all the wrong directions
If they upset, tell 'em what the song suggest and
[Hook: Bailey]
[Outro: Charlie Murphy & Dave Chappelle]