(Verse 1)
Dear Summoner I was so excited when you finally picked me
Even while your teammates were begging you to jungle with Xin or Master Yi
Clicked my portrait and took your time to choose all the perfect masteries
Even had a rune page set up that you named specifically after me
I know the last time you summoned me we didn't do that great
But I've been buffed since then and your scores have really improved of late
You learned how to bait, and your last hitting seems first rate
I can't believe this loading screen is taking so long, I really can't wait
I like your choice of boots for level 1 so we can hara**
And spamming W to level the stun at spawn, that tactic is first cla**
Taking mid is a great idea this should be a blast
Of course I'll pull the golem for the jungler, glad that you asked
Oh wow we're laning against a melee this is going to be fun
Oh crap they're all coming at me, I think they want to gank level one
It's a good thing you were so smart at spawn and charged the stun
Got away with flash up and still at full HP, nicely done
(Chorus)
This laning phase is going fine, our creep score's really high
The minion wave is near our tower, we're zoning out this guy
I'll be six soon we'll have Tibbers then it's only seconds 'til he dies
Please charge up the stun, we need five stacks, we need five stacks
(Verse 2)
Oh damn, it looks like he's backing already we missed our chance at a k**
Oh well no big deal we'll just push the wave real quick and pill
We needed to shop anyway with all this gold and item spaces to fill
We can skip the survival items for now since you've got so much sk**
The jungler's giving us blue already this is going to be fun
The extra cooldown reduction will make it easy to chain my stun
I don't see middle and top on the map do you think we should run?
I guess it's no big deal they're probably just jungling and I'm almost done
Ah crap a three man gank we really should have known
With all those mias we shouldn't have tried to grab the buff alone
You're getting a little bit co*ky which seems weird with all the chances you've blown
When we get back to lane just hang back and farm so that we don't get owned
I think we need to buy some armor soon their ADs seems fed
They're coming to gank us pretty often you need to use your head
I know I'm kind of OP but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have fled
They're coming for us look out! Back up! And again I'm dead...
(Chorus)
It seems like you're overextending, I don't like this at all
Here comes another gank we better run, an MIA was called
They're coming up behind us quickly, you fail the flash over the wall
Maybe you should get some defensive stats, defensive stats
(Verse 3)
Dear Mr. I'm Too Good To Buy A Banshees Veil
We're getting focused harder than a child molestor sent to jail
Your last flash stun combo was such an epic fail
Didn't you notice that the guy you bursted had been ulted by Kayle?!
You need to stand in the back and let the tanks soak the initial burst
If you're going to be in front you really have to strike first
I can't believe you missed them all with Tibbers again you're the worst
We need to run away! Not that bush! Why do you check face first?!!
Our team is raging hard and I can't say I really blame them
I'd report you too if I could you s** in so many ways here I'll name them
You're slow to react, no map awareness, your team dies you never save them
You miss my spells somehow and they're autolock you don't even aim them!
I'm done with this it's obvious that you'll never get better
This was the worst experience, no enjoyment whatsoever
Don't even bother trying to improve it would be such a pointless endeavor
You should quit right now and uninstall this game forever