It begins with a dark glowing ember,
Something black burning it's way out of me.
Searing the flesh,
Pain is the only thing I feel,
Scars all I see.
Oh no the fire's burning my insides again,
What can I do to silence my desire tonight?
Face consumer reason leaving all the ashes there,
You won't catch me for granting my decision,
I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can't just close my eyes.
I know that it's k**ing me,
And it's poisoning the best of me,
But I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you boy, tell you boy,
About the lies I lead.
That is how it k**s, I got some flames and gasoline
Broken teeth replace the blackout memories in my head
Wreckage from the blast, it often shakes me to the floor
(to the floor)
I know it's over but I can't go home tonight.
And after this I feel as empty as the night before,
Feel the pain and yet I'm still begging for more.
Masochistic, nihilistic, gurging wrecked up thoughts
My life's a mess and I can't find a way to fix it.
I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear,
I can't just close my eyes
(my eyes, my eyes, my f**ing eyes)
I know that it's k**ing me,
And it's poisoning the best of me,
But I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you boy, tell you boy,
About the lies I lead.
Calling, calling out.
The darkness reaches up my soul,
I'm riddled with self-doubt.
Crawling, crawling out,
My will to fight will more than suffice,
While others will lay down.
It's only as dark as you make it.
I know that it's k**ing me,
And it's poisoning the best of me,
But I say, I don't want to believe.
So let me tell you boy, tell you boy,
About the lies I lead.