[Rocker #1]
Time is running out
You've got to act now
Stay one step ahead
Of that moronic text somehow
[Rocker #2]
There's no turning back
Here in the danger zone
You've got to manually delete that text
From that dude's cell phone!
[Rebecca Bunch played by Rachel Bloom, Spoken]
Thank you, officers!
[Police Officer, Spoken]
Good luck, Rebecca!
[Both Rockers #1 & 2]
It's a textmergency
[Rocker #1]
Baby can't you see
Textmergency
That term just occurred to me
It's gonna catch on instantly!
[Rocker #2]
Wait, what about texttastrophe?
That sounds better to me!
Texttastrophe!
That could really spread virally!
[Rocker #1]
I prefer textmergency
[Rocker #3]
I accidentally texted my mother-in-law
A picture of my erection
[Rocker #4]
I once group texted my whole staff
About my yeast infection!
[Rocker #1]
Exactly! It's so relatable
That's why I coined the phrase…
[Rocker #2]
Texttastrophe!
That's the meme, don't you agree?
[Rocker #1]
All due respect, Textmergency
Is the better term, Miss C
[Rocker #2]
Hmmm, I wanna go with texttastrophe
I already put it on Urban Dictionary
[Ghost of Steve Jobs, spoken]
You fools!
It doesn't matter what it's called
That's right, it's me
The ghost of Steve Jobs
What matters is that I control
Your lives from the grave!
Technology is slowly alienating
Everyone from their loved ones
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
And when you send a few words
To the wrong recipient
And it immediately destroys your life
That's called a messagepocalypse!
[All Rockers]
Get out of here, Steve Jobs!
[Rocker #3]
Guys, what about that lawyer chick?
We've gotten really off track…
[Rocker #1]
She's searching for the spare key
Looked under the mat!
[Rocker #2]
It's clearly hidden in that owl!
[Rocker #3]
Look in that flower pot, hurry!
[Rocker #4]
Hurry up and check that Buddha sconce
[All Rockers]
Check the Buddha sconce, check the Buddha sconce!
[Rocker #1]
She did it! Now she can delete the text
She won't need to come up with a textcuse!
[Rocker #2]
Texplanation!
[Rocker #1, spoken]
Textmergency just flows
[Rocker #2, spoken]
No, dude, texttastrophe, it's what it is
[Rocker #3, spoken]
Dude, she's totally right
[Rocker #4, spoken]
Text-scuse me!