[ANNA, spoken]
Hey
What are you doing
For the next thirteen hours?
Don't do anything healthy
Don't be productive
Give in to your desire
[ANNA]
Research me obsessively
Uh-huh!
Find out everything
You can about me
You know you want to
Dig for me relentlessly
Uh-huh!
Using every available
Search tool and all forms
Of social media
[VALENCIA, spoken]
Yes!
[ANNA]
You know you want to
Look at my Instagram
But it's private
So Google me until
You find out where
I went to high school
And then set up a fake
Instagram account
Using the name
And the photo
Of someone that went
To my high school
And hope that I remember
That person a little bit
[REBECCA, spoken]
Ah, no!
[ANNA]
Then request access to
My private Instagram
From the fake account
And in the meantime scour
My work Instagram account
Cause that one's public
Research me obsessively
Uh-huh!
Find an actual picture
Of my parents' house
On Google Maps
You know you want to
Hunt for me tirelessly
Uh-huh!
It's not stalking 'cause
The information is
All technically public
[REBECCA]
That's true!
That's true!
[VALENCIA]
Very true
[ANNA]
Check out every guy
I used to date
And deduce who
Broke up with who
Based on the hesitation
In our smiles
[ANNA, spoken]
So many unanswered questions
Did I go to the
University of Texas?
Am I an EMT?
Is that my obituary
In which I'm survived
By my loving husband Eddie
Of 50 years; children
Susan and Matthew
And grandchild Stephanie?
Wait no. That's just all the
People with my same name
[REBECCA & VALENCIA, spoken]
O-h-h-h-h-h!
[ANNA, spoken]
Or is it?
Pay only $9.99 on a
Background check web site
To know for sure
[REBECCA, spoken]
I'll do it
[VALENCIA, spoken]
Yeah
[ANNA]
So don't stop
Just research me
Obsessively
Uh-huh!
And in lieu of flowers
Donate to other me's
Favorite charity
[ANNA]
Aw!
Research me
Just research me
And research me
And research me
[ANNA, spoken]
Oops
It's three days later