Performed by adam sandler, rob schneider, tim meadows, david spade, steve koren, tim herlihy, and margaret ruden
[car approaches]
Toll booth willie: "welcome to worchester. dollar twenty-five please."
M1: "hey, how ya doin' toll booth willie?"
Toll booth willie: "good! thanks fer askin, pop!"
M1: "aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a f**in' idiot!"
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: "go f** yourself you son of a b**h! i'll come right outta the booth and f**in' whack ya, you f**in' prick!"
[another car approaches]
M2: "hey, hey, willie! hows it going?"
Toll booth willie: "hey, can't complain, pop. hows 'bout you?"
M2: "oh, great, great. how much?"
Toll booth willie: "the state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop."
M2: "that's fine. now should i give you the money, or should i shove the quarters directly up your fat a**!?"
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: "why you f**in' hard on! i'll f**ing carlton fisk yer f**in' head with a louise-ville f**in' slugger! whadya think of that a** f**!?"
[another car approaches]
F1: "hi willie."
Toll booth willie: "oh, nice to see ya m'am. not a bad day, huh?"
F1: "well, i'm a little lost. could you help me out? i hear your the best with directions."
Toll booth willie: "well i know my way around new england. i can tell ya that much. so where ya headed?"
F1: "well, i was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your a**. you know, if you'd tell me, i'd appreciate it, you f**in' prick."
[drives off]
Toll booth willie: "you f**in' b**h! f** you! you forgot to pay the f**in' toll you dirty who*e! i'll f**in' drop you with a boot to the f**in' skull you cum guzzling queen!"
[another car approaches]
M3: "hey willie."
Toll booth willie: "hey, how are ya?"
M3: "here's a dollar twenty-five, and go f** yourself."
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: "dah, you f**in' prick! i hope you choke on a f**in' bottle cap, ya f**in' son of a f**! eat sh**! eat my sh**!"
[another car approaches]
Bishop nelson: "hello willie. good to see you."
Toll booth willie: "ahhh, bishop nelson. nice to see ya. that was quite a sermon you had the other day."
Bishop nelson: "hey, well i do my best."
Toll booth willie: "dollar twenty-five, bishop."
Bishop nelson: "dollar twenty-five, willie. isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog sh**!?"
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: "ohhh! have another one, you f**in' lush! it's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya f**in' douche bag!"
[another car approaches]
M5: "hey!"
Toll booth willie: "well hey!"
M5: "yeah, do you want the money, or should i just shove the quarters directly up your fat a**!?"
[pays toll and drives off]
Toll booth willie: "well, i already heard that one you f**in' unoriginal ba*tard! go s** a corn you f**in' piece of repeatin' sh**!"
[another car approaches]
F2: "hi."
Toll booth willie: "oh, hi. how are ya?"
F2: "fine, thank you. how much is the toll please?"
Toll booth willie: "for you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five."
F2: "here ya go."
[pays toll]
F2: "thank you."
[begins to drive off]
Toll booth willie: "hey! hey! honey! would you like a receipt with that?"
F2: "oh, i almost forgot. thank you so much."
[toll booth willie scribbling a receipt for her]
Toll booth willie: "and here ya are."
F2: "umm, do you think you could sign it?"
Toll booth willie: "oh, uh.. sign it?"
F2: "yeah, sign toll booth willie was here."
Toll booth willie: "ok, sure. uhh, by the way, what is this for?"
[signing receipt]
F2: "just so i could have proof for my friends that i met the biggest f**in' dip sh** with the smallest dick alive. you understand."
[drives off]
[crumples up paper]
Toll booth willie: "f** you, you f**in' upity b**h! i'll f**in' f** you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your f**in' mothers! you're gonna die, b**h! i'm comin' o
The booth!" [opens the door and runs out of the booth]
[car screeches and hits him]
Toll booth willie: "ooooh! my f**in' leg!"
M6: "hey! you ran over toll booth willie!"
M7: "oh my god! i was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
Dried up stinky dick licker."
Toll booth willie: "why you f**in' pricks. i f**in' hear every f**in' word yer saying! when this f**in' leg heals, i'm gonna kick you guys new f**in' a**holes!
[everyone cussing eachother out]