If you're comin' from the street with dirty shoes on your feet That's a technical foul If you switch the radio to some (?) music show That's a technical foul If you don't shut the door After using the frigerator That's a technical foul A technical foul If you touch the thermostat You'll get hit with a bat Cause that's a technical foul (You will feel my wrath) If your hair clogs the drain You'll know the meaning of pain Cause that's a technical foul (I'll show you no mercy) Ho, this is such bullsh**-ah! Hey! In this house we say bull STICK Or it's a technical foul A technical foul If I don't spray Lysol after moving a bowel That's a technical foul If I decide to wash my a** with your monogram towel That's a technical foul (Please say hiney!) If I make fun of your crazy feeties Or give sugar cookies to Miss Diabetes That's not really a technical foul But possibly a homicide Can I sleep past three? If you do, you'll get a T! Take a whiz in those flowers? I'll say hit the showers! Use this horn as a bong? Adios, Tommy Chong!
Make some long distance calls? You'll get a kick in the balls! Oops! Can I walk around with my morning erection? If you want an automatic ejection Cause that's a technical foul But I'd like to see it anyway Just kidding There are certain rules which apply in one's life With your sister, friends, or imaginary wife (Adam) I can't believe I haven't k**ed myself Here with Wigs McGee and the Furry Elf She's (???) and he's so small How did I get stuck in this sh** hole? Guess I'll have to deal with your demands But please don't touch me with your alien hands (Whitey) (??) carries over beyond my court Whether you're a Jewish guy, (???) or especially short I think I'll sing to my (???) My imaginary wife is named (???) (Elenore) They took my wig I remember the look in their eyes Why, oh why Won't someone retreive my wig, wig, wig I got no right to growl Watch out, she's on the prowl Without my wig, I look like an owl Hoo hoo! (Oh my God!) Don't laugh at her! Or it's a technical foul A technical foul A technical foul