[DJ Oatmeal]
My name is not Rutherford, they call me Michael Hayes
And my sh** is like Pogs, because I'm the latest craze
I'm fly, I'm shy, I'm fly I repeat:
I walk right past you when I see you on the street
You know my shows sell more tickets than New Hope prequels
Make more money than Chipmunk Squeakquels
I am the master, and you are the apprentice
I beat your a** down when we play table tennis
Because you rhyme fast, but I rhyme faster
Get over on Kerr like my man Lancaster
Because I am a man out on a mission:
Supreme, sublime lyrical acquisition
Playing beats on my box, making music for my people
Know a lot of MCs, but none are my equal
I'm your obsession, you came confessin'
You get denied and pay your shrink for a session
Roll around town, got my nine by my side
Knocked off Fifth Third like Bonnie and Clyde
I'm dusted, not rusted, and my crew comes first
You mess with s**a Slim, and you go home in a hearse
Cause we got enough crack-outs, trying to befriend us
Get ready for some truth, pa** the mic to Phantom Menace
[The Phantom Menace, a.k.a. Saruman of Many Kronics]
Howdy-doo, it's the Phantom Menace
I'm a frickin' Sith Lord, I ain't no apprentice
Watch a PBS special on Jack the Ripper
Watch it once for me, and once for the Gipper
Shout out to my man lil' 2k10
He's got rhymes, and better time than Big Ben
DJ Oatmeal innovates like Wayne Szalinski
J. Rage-a causes riots like Igor Stravinsky
Steve Gene's favorite movie is Ernest Goes to Jail
I'd make Half Mast a sandwich, but my bread went stale
4 Broz By Broz, fortune and fame
You talking 'bout practice? I'm talking 'bout the game!
Got bad sneakers, like Donald f*gen
And I'm more Cosmic than Carl Sagan
Like Yukon Cornelius, I got silver and gold
And I beat Doom II when I was four years old
If you don't believe me, get a lie detector
We can put the results on an overhead projector
I'mma make like a banana and split
Tangerines use the mic as you see fit
[H Nasty Bamboo Shoots a.k.a. Tangerines]
Tangerines on the scene and I'm silken clean
My rhymes are so sick, they'll turn your body green
Make you bend over the toilet like Gordita Supremes
Make your hair fall out like chemotherapy
Skeet in your cereal like Skeeter's Jizzy Cheerios
Perform high-flying acrobatics just like Ray Mysterio
I overheard you asking silly questions to your grandpa
You didn't know? I'm all about the za!
I do d** like I was ten feet tall
And I once got accosted while I was pooping at the mall
I've seen a couple more ladies than Stevie Wonder
And I pleasured them til they roared like thunder
I Like to bed them at The Purple Grape
And tape shapes of Severus Snape getting raped on their nape
Now H Nasty Bamboo Shoots gonna get dippin'
Me and DJ Oatmeal gonna have a a Pabst Blue Ribbon