[Verse 1]
Don't wanna surf today and I
Don't wanna skate
Just wanna stay home and
Masturbate
My older brother
He took away my p**n
Who should I think about
I am truly torn
I'm a masturbating junkie
Love to go and
Spank my monkey
Well there's
Queen Amidala
And Princess Leia
Seven of Nine
And Lara Croft
I wanna nail ya
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
And the blue chick from Avatar
Jessica Rabbit
Spread eagle in my car
Looking at that blue caboose
Makes me want to milk my moose
[Chorus 1]
I'm jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
[Verse 2]
Reading my comic books and I've got an issue
All the hot comic chicks
I need more tissue
Mystique's so hot and mean
I bet She-Hulk's vadge is green
Put my books in bags and boards
Before I get 'em sticky
When every Wednesday comes around
I go back home and punch the clown
The elf chick Arwyn
Bounce a ring off her a**
If you don't make eye contact
You can jerk it
To Legolas
And I must admit
Caprica Six
She is the sh**
And I like Starbuck
With extra whipped cream
On B.S.G. they pulled the plug
I still get down and tug the slug
[Chorus 2]
I'm jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
I've gotta take a break
I'm starting to chafe!
[Guitar Solo]
[Verse 3]
Tv's got agent Scully
And Olivia from Fringe
Marge Simpson
I'd like to see her minge
Leela from Futurama
Lois from Family Guy
Cheetara from Thunder Cats
Like to see
Her cat eye
Tired of my jaw yakkin'
Time to go release the Kraken
[Chorus 3] X 2
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)
Jerkin' off! (jerkin' off!)