[Verse 1]
I'm tired
The alarm's going off, I think just I'll hit the snooze
It's too early in the morning. I can't remember anything
What are the lyrics? Something rhyming with snooze
It's early, so maybe something about the morning news
I don't know. It's too early. What's the time? 11:30
Yeah, way too early for me. I never have been a morning person
No, wait. I take that back. I used to wake up early when I was like seven
But I'm older now and I'm tired now. I need something to wake me up
I need something with caffeine. Tea leaves or coffee beans
Alright, tea it is. I'm getting up and getting my tea seeping
Unfortunately, I made it too hot for me to be drinking
I'll have to wait a couple of minutes. Actually, um...
I'll cut it down to a couple of seconds by getting some ice to mix with this
There we go. I can drink it now. I'm finally getting my caffeine
[Hook]
I'm finally getting my caffeine!
From coffee to tea to energy drinks
Or somewhere in between!
It doesn't really matter, any kind of caffeinated drink
Just give me some caffeine!
From coffee to tea to energy drinks
Or somewhere in between!
[Verse 2]
Now that I'm hyped on caffeine, I feel like I could do anything
I'm like Popeye on greens. I'm like Chuck Norris on amphetamines
Except I'm not really a druggy. I'm just a little bit crazy
I'm regularly lazy, but now I have an excess of energy
I'm feeling like fighting. I feel as mighty as lightning
Like I could strike you to nothing. Like I could smite you to smithereens
Like I could blast you asunder with something louder than thunder
And I would leave you to wonder "What just happened?" I don't know
I think I just crushed your skull. I'm not sure about that though
You might want to go to a doctor. If you die, that was manslaughter
I didn't want to k** you and you shouldn't want to die either
So we would both be happier if you were to get better
I think I'll get you a balloon that says "get well soon"
And I'll buy you a card to help you improve your mood
Because seriously dude, what just happened was cool
And there's no need for you to retaliate like a fool
Because I'm starting to crash, so I won't do that again
My caffeine's running out, so it's time to run the chorus again
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Caffeine turns me from a normal person into a beast
It twists my low self esteem to the opposite extreme
It takes me away from reality and brings me into a dream
Where everybody else is inferior and I reign supreme
It makes me feel superior. It makes me feel like a leader
While I'm usually the follower. It makes me feel like I'm popular
It makes me feel more gangster than any cop k**er
It makes me feel more lyricaller. Lyricaller? Whatever
What I meant was that it makes me feel like the best writer ever
It makes me more linguistically savvy and more artistically driven
Like writing is right up my alley and rhyming comes naturally to me
Like I'm the only man who is rapping and the competition is children
What I'm saying is that caffeine empowers me to do just about anything
I don't need any other kinds of d**. Caffeine is the ultimate medicine
The only pain reliever that I need is extra strength Excedrin
And only because it has caffeine as an active ingredient
So when I have a headache and need energy, that stuff is convenient
The invention of Excedrin was ingenious and brilliant
I had a headache early today, but now I'm writing away
All thanks to those pills for saving my day
If it were up to me, caffeine would be in every pill that we take
And it would be in our food. You could have a caffeinated steak
Or a caffeinated pancake or a caffeinated milkshake
Food is supposed to provide energy so why not add the caffeine?
Why not top your potatoes with caffeinated gravy?
Well, I guess if you want, you can go ahead and disagree
But the world would be a better place if everybody had more caffeine
At least the caffeine fanatics should all agree with me
[Hook]