When I got to the party, they gave me a forty And I must have been thirsty 'cause I drank it so quickly When I got to the bedroom, there was somebody waiting And it isn't my fault that the barbarian raped me When I went to get tested, I brought along my best friend Melissa Mahoney (who had once been molested) And she knew how to get there, she knew all the nurses They were all really friendly but the test came up positive, uh-oh I've seen better days but I don't care Oh I just sent a letter in the mail When I got my abortion I brought along my boyfriend We got there an hour before the appointment And outside the building were all these annoying Fundamentalist Christians; we tried to ignore them, oh-oh I've had better days but I don't care Oasis got my letter in the mail When vacation was over, the word was all over That I was a crack who*e - Melissa had told them And now we're not talking, except we have tickets To see Blur in October and I think we're still going, oh-oh I've seen better days but I don't care Oh I just got a letter in the mail Oasis sent a photograph it's autographed and everything Melissa's gonna wet herself I swear