Amanda Palmer - Vegemite (The Black d**h) lyrics

You tell me that you love me when I'm lying by your side You tell me that I am the only one who understands your troubled mind That I am blind to any evil you can do And that I love you more than any other girl could ever do You love the things that I love: you love art and you love books And you love love as much as I do and you love my dirty looks And you love me right now So how can you love... Vegemite? It tastes like sadness It tastes like batteries It tastes like a**es I cannot hold a man so close who spreads this cancer on his toast It is the Vegemite, my darling, or it's me You have to make a f**ing choice I cannot sit with you at breakfast The very smell of it obliterates my senses And if that weren't bad enough you also eat the sh** for lunch Which means we can't spend any time together What kind of relationship is that? The choice is yours, my heart is in your hands... Please wash your hands You just ate Vegemite for lunch you selfish ba*tard It's all about you, isn't it? It's just take, take, take, take What about me? What about my feelings? I'm sorry I had this really awful experience when I was six years old And our British next door neighbor, Christopher Gill, he was babysitting us And he made me eat an entire spoonful of Marmite Which is just like Vegemite pretty much except it's even grosser He made me eat it by telling me it was chocolate fudge And so I swallowed the whole thing and then I had to go to the bathroom and throw up And it really traumatized me and I'm sorry I got so emotional, I just... I love you, and no matter what you eat I'll always love you completely I might just always leave the room at meal times Or refuse to kiss or touch you for a week If you insist on putting that foul d**h paste in your mouth You're in my heart, but put yourself inside my shoes I have to know, it shouldn't be too hard to choose I know it's tearing you apart, but it's the way it has to be It is the Vegemite, my darling It is the Vegemite, my darling Put down the Vegemite, you f**er, or I'll leave